Hello,

First, we would like to say how truly amazing and selfless you are for considering donating your embryos to help another family bring a child into this world. We understand that this is an incredibly meaningful decision, and we want you to know how deeply we respect that. Please know that any child welcomed into our family will be loved unconditionally and given a joyful, nurturing life. We hope this letter helps you get to know us better, our journey to embryo adoption, the life we’ve built together, and the kind of home and future we hope to provide.

We have been married for just over 11 years and began trying for a baby shortly after our wedding. We both always knew we wanted a family. I grew up with a younger sister, and my husband has an older brother. When we had trouble conceiving, we sought help from a fertility specialist, where testing revealed that we both had factors making it nearly impossible to conceive without IVF.

We started with IUI since it was covered by insurance, but when that was unsuccessful, we decided to move forward with IVF. Just as we were about to begin, COVID hit, and we chose to pause due to the uncertainty. We resumed treatment at a new clinic in the winter of 2021. After repeated testing, we went through an egg retrieval in early 2022, but unfortunately, we ended up with no embryos. It was devastating, but we knew it wasn’t the end of our journey.

We began exploring donor eggs and went on to work with three different donors. I had one positive pregnancy test, but it resulted in a missed miscarriage. After our final embryo transfer last year was unsuccessful, we truly believed we were out of options. After everything, at 40 and 45, we wondered if our journey to parenthood might be over.

Although we had heard of embryo adoption, we hadn’t seriously considered it at first. I had already come to terms with not having a genetic connection but being able to carry a baby and experience that bond felt incredibly important to me. Just as importantly, I wanted to make sure my husband felt comfortable with the idea of raising a child who was not genetically ours.

What ultimately helped us make the decision was seeing love in our own family. My husband’s brother became a father figure to his wife’s three sons from a previous marriage, embracing them fully and wholeheartedly. My sister and her husband also gave birth to our twin nephews through IVF using donor sperm, and we love them deeply. Watching both experiences showed us that love, not genetics, defines a family.

Choosing embryo adoption now feels completely right for us. This child will grow up surrounded by love and will never feel anything less than fully ours. From an early age, we plan to openly share their story, helping them understand how special and wanted they were, and how grateful we are to have been chosen to be their parents.

Growing up, we both came from hardworking middle-class families. My dad still owns a residential construction company, and my mom is a hairdresser who has always worked out of the home, allowing her to balance her career while being present for me and my sister. My husband’s parents owned a gas station with a convenience store and auto shop, and he worked there from middle school until he went to college. I believe our strong work ethic comes from watching how hard our parents worked. While we didn’t come from wealthy backgrounds, we never felt like we were missing anything. We went on family vacations and have nothing but the best memories. We truly couldn’t have asked for better childhoods.

We live in the suburbs in a beautiful ranch-style home on the water. We have wonderful neighbors who feel more like family than friends. Both of us grew up spending time on the water, and we now have a boat of our own. My husband is from the Midwest, where his family had a cabin near a lake, so his summers were spent fishing and wakeboarding, and winters were filled with ice fishing and snowmobiling. I grew up near the ocean, so my family spent summers boating, fishing, clamming, and crabbing, often tying up with family friends and heading to the beach.

On our summer days off, if the weather is nice, you’ll almost always find us out on the boat with our dog. He loves it so much that if we can’t bring him, we have to sneak out so he doesn’t notice. We live in the same town as my parents and sister and her family, who also live on the water and have boats, so we’re always together. When we’re not boating, we enjoy golfing, walking through the preserve near our house, paddleboarding, gardening, biking, going to baseball games, visiting the zoo or aquarium…basically love anything outdoors. In the winter months, we try to take a trip somewhere warm or to visit my husband’s family. We enjoy bowling and going to the movies, trying new restaurants and having friends over for game nights. Most of the time though, we love staying home and cooking together and hosting friends and family. We love entertaining our friends and family and are always hosting something at our house. Even though we’re the only couple in our friend group without children, all the kids love coming over. We always make sure to have crafts and games ready for them, which makes it even more special.

We have so many fun family traditions that we can’t wait to share with our future child or children. My husband’s father, who passed away a few years ago, was born on Halloween. Every year in his honor, we host a big Halloween celebration in front of our house. We hand out full-size candy bars to trick-or-treaters, order pizza, and set up coolers with drinks for the adults. It’s a tradition he started, and my husband loves continuing it. Our home is right across from the elementary school bus stop, so on the first day of school, when parents bring their kids to the stop, we set up a juice and snack station with mini muffins for the kids and coffee for the parents. We’ve been doing this for the past five years, and it’s something the kids really look forward to.We also host Christmas Day at our house and love going all out with decorations. The weekend after Thanksgiving, we bring everything down, put up the tree, and make a day of it. I always cook a chicken pot pie, and we watch our favorite Christmas movies (Elf, Christmas Vacation, Four Christmases, Love Actually, Home Alone, Fred Claus and The Holiday) while decorating the tree and putting up lights. During the rest of the holiday season, I usually bake 10–12 different types of Christmas cookies to give to friends and family, and in recent years, I’ve started inviting my friends’ daughters over to bake a few varieties with me, which has become a special tradition of its own. When my nephews were born, I also started giving them Palm Sunday baskets; a tradition I plan to keep going well into their adulthood. Every year on Father’s Day, I pick up bagels and we go fishing in the morning with my dad, my sister, and her husband. These traditions mean so much to us, and we can’t wait to share them with the next generation.

My husband and I both work in hospitality at separate private country clubs. I’m an event coordinator, and my husband is a general manager. We’ve been at our respective clubs for 10 and 20 years. While we have busy and slower seasons, our clubs are closed from January through March, giving us a nice extended break. We’ve always known that having a child would require changes to our schedules. When we began going through IVF, I had conversations with my boss about my future and what my work schedule could look like. I am fortunate to work at a place that is willing to afford me the flexibility to handle office work from home and come in for major events and meetings. My husband, as the general manager, understands when he needs to be present but also has a strong, reliable team he trusts to step in when needed.

We’re fortunate that my mom lives nearby and is always willing to help with babysitting. Financially, we’re in a secure place, so if balancing work and motherhood becomes too much, we would be okay relying solely on my husband’s income. That said, after all of this I have no desire to have someone else raise my child. Being present and involved is my top priority and I want to be there for everything.

While we were always scared of being the “older parents,” especially with each year that passed when IVF didn’t work, we now believe that starting our family in our 40s is a strength. Over the years, we’ve had the opportunity to travel, grow together, and build a strong, loving partnership rooted in shared experiences. We’ve spent enough time around the babies and children in our lives, which has given us confidence, patience, and a realistic understanding of the joys and challenges of parenting. We are financially stable, established in our careers, and fortunate to have created a home full of love that we are excited to fill with laughter, learning, and unconditional support. At this stage in life, we feel ready and prepared to welcome a child with open hearts and unwavering commitment.

As we look ahead, we feel so much hope and gratitude for this journey and for the chance to grow our family in this way. If you choose us, please know your gift will be met with endless love, care, and appreciation. Our child will grow up knowing how deeply they were wanted and how special their story is. We will honor your generosity in everything we do as parents. Thank you for reading our story and for considering us. We have so much respect for you and the strength and generosity it takes to make a decision like this one.