To whom it may concern,

(To remove personal identifiers J will represent husband and C will represent wife.)

I have the privilege of being able to write this letter on behalf of my sister, C and her husband, J. I fully support their character, aspirations, and integrity. I understand the bias of my perspective, I am C's younger sister, however, that also gives me the most accurate viewpoint of C as a provider, role model, support person, and companion.

My sister and brother-in-law are intelligent, successful in their careers, driven, and hardworking. That can be seen by all. They both did the “proper” steps in life – rigorous college programs, working 40+ hour work weeks, career progression, saving their money, never missing a family event, and engaging with their community and church. All of my friends tell me that “C and J have it all together”. And they do, that is not a facade. They worked for their good life. But their true goal is they want to share that life with another person. They want more than anything to share that love and foundation. And this is the part that most people do not know. They have a road bump in life just like everyone else, and for them, it is unfortunately fertility. A costly, timely, and frankly rejecting road bump. But unlike most, they do not diverge from their path due to it, no matter how big it may seem some days. They have immensely given their time and financial resources to their fertility struggles while also not losing their focus on their current purposes in life; supporting their friends and family, loving God and His true plan, reaching their career potential, and maintaining their own health and wellness. Most people would just sit and question why – “Why do I have to do this? I did everything I’m supposed to do” – but instead they say "We will never stop fighting for this and we will keep giving to the current blessings we have". While this entire experience may be unfair, my sister and brother-in-law have impressed me to the tenth degree.

Now this is the part I can prove I am not just a biased little sister. Of course, C is

constantly supportive of me and our friends and family. Through every sporting event, life success, and other loved one’s pregnancy, C has been nothing but helpful and excited for those she loves.

She is selfless to her loved ones. But it expands past just those she loves. C has taken her

battle with fertility and shared that energy and determination with God and other members of the

community. These are just SOME of the things my sister has given her efforts to. First, she and I

dove straight into our church. After both getting married and moving 30 minutes away from the church we grew up in we both decided we wanted to find a church that we could join as adults. We became active participants in our church and began with an ALPHA program that is a 12-week community engagement discussing life, devotion to God, and the power of prayer. We had an amazing experience with our community from this. Then, C came up to me and asked if I wanted to be a Girls on the Run Coach with her. She really spearheaded this. She took this on 3 days a week while working her full time job for 12 weeks to lead a group of 15 middle school girls in an after-school running and female empowerment program (which focused on talking through emotions, body confidence, self-esteem, and friendship). The finale was C organizing an entire 5K for these girls to

run in for the first time. After that experience, she came back to me and asked “Want to teach

faith formation with me at church?" Which is where we are now. With a class of fourteen 7th graders

every Sunday morning. A third adventure that I have also enjoyed. C has been the Batman

in all of these endeavors, and I am happily her Robin. I have watched thoroughly impressed with my

sister as she comes to each of these events organized, energized, excited, and happy to be there.

This fertility struggle has been heart-wrenching for my sister and my family. And I do not know

too many people that could make something even slightly positive out of that. But I have

watched my sister make the sweetest lemonade possible out of this obstacle. No matter what

happens in our future, I am extremely proud of my big sister. And I will happily be following her through any endeavor her heart leads her to next.

Now for my brother (brother-in-law, but I call him that because I never had a brother). Fertility

issues are a specifically difficult challenges for men. No one wants to talk about it from the male perspective, and there’s an undeserved shame to it, which breaks my heart. Not only is it frustrating but it can be a challenge to one’s purpose in life. My brother just wants to be a dad, just like my sister wants to be a mom. He wants to provide, protect, and support a family. I know that because he does that for me. J has sacrificed for me, his loud-mouthed little sister that he never asked for. And he does it so well and so often. He has and would drop everything to support and help me. Every race and sporting event, every birthday, every life event, every challenge - I’ve had J offer his hand. And he has become the most supportive grandson to our 88 year old grandmother. He has a gratitude for her being here with us that most people overlook. He also helps out his parents frequently since his older brother and sister live out of town and he is ready and willing to help my parents with any projects they are working on. He personally dedicated a lot of time to make sure my wedding was perfect which was hosted in my parents back yard in the late summer of 2020. He is also a great freind to my husband and a wonderful brother. J has a deeper sense of love and appreciation than most do and him not being able to share that with a child hurts. Of course, he was sad and he was mad at himself. Now his job has time restrictions that limit leading church and community engagements like my sister does but he still shows up to support all of the community events that she volunteers in. And he has taken his drive and desire to better himself for his marriage and health. J began seeking personal counseling since it is difficult to talk about male fertility struggles in the public. This is once again sometimes a challenge for men to approach. He learned how to make his mindset and perspective shift from a bad situation to an opportunity to better himself and be resilient to rejection and difficulties. He has also taken up running as a way to cope through difficult situations and lead a healthy lifestyle. That means a lot to me that a man my sister is married to has done these things. I don’t have to worry about my sister. I know regardless of what unfairness approaches –sickness, disasters, setbacks – my brother has a bigger perspective and resilience to always keep fighting for her, himself, and his family.

So that is C and J. My big brother and sister, who I am blessed to have and thoroughly impressed by. I could not sign off this testimony without mentioning the final piece to this current trio. Their current fur baby, their 5-year-old German Shepherd. He has quite a lavished lifestyle – a big yard, a personal best friend and daily visitior in his 88 year old great grandma, yearly vacations, and a lot of attention. He has known hardships and resilience of his own. Around the age of 3, unfortunately, the time C and J realized the extent of their fertility issues and weeks after the passing of our dear grandfather who we were extremely close to, their German Shepherd had an idiopathic spinal stroke and was left completely paralyzed in his 2 hind legs. Our entire family ran to his support and our parents and J's parents did everything possible for their granddog. C and J gave time and flexed their work schedules to support his recovery. They took him to PT appointments, made house adaptations, and made sure his quality of life was never impacted. Once again, most would have thrown in the towel on this obstacle and most would have given up on him and his struggles. They all once again endured. No questions asked. My amazing 5-year-old doggie nephew now has full use of three of his legs, with partial use of the 4th, and is now minimal assist and functional two years later. And I am once again very impressed by their little family. Their resilience is palpable and never-ending.

That’s the L family. Strong, selfless, resilient, and loving. Only God knows what

is in their future, but I know that no matter what it is, they will be working for the betterment of

their loved ones and their community. This letter is not only to showcase how much they deserve

a child. It is to showcase that a child deserves them. A strong, selfless, resilient, and loving

home. C and J will always be that. I do pray every day that they get to expand their family. I pray that they at least get every opportunity to do that, so that they can share this beautiful foundation they built with another life. In the meantime, I will keep praying, and keep watching their light continue to shine. I cannot wait for the day that resilient and loving light expands.

Thank you for your time reading this. It was quite an honor getting to share their story.

Sincerely,

M, PT, DPT, OCS