Hello! My name is [Her name] (37) and my husbands name is [His name] (36). We met in college and have been together since we were 19. Im a nurse practitioner, snd [His name] is the payroll manager for our local transportation company. We started trying to conceive at age 30. I still wonder if things would have been different if id started trying in my 20s. I've found that so much of this journey is full of "what ifs" and "hindsight is 20/20." at the time, it made sense, as I was working full time while making my way through grad school. I earned a doctorate in my field and started working as a nurse practitioner. once I felt like I'd gotten my feet wet, we started trying. We are fit and healthy people - we had no concept of infertility at that time, no idea that we would face a problem. I got pregnant naturally about 5 months in, but it was an early loss. That was my only natural pregnancy. I'm a type A, go getter, have a plan kind of a person, so I was quick to get in with a clinic when I hit my year mark. During that year, I did everything I could think of to help - meticulous tracking of my cycle through various methods, supplements, diet changes, throwing out all the plastic in my house, etc. when I started my work up, At first, my labs were pretty normal. I went through the typical testing with no issues, and went down the typical pathway of medicated cycles, 3 IUIs, and then on to IVF. At this point, we rechecked my labs, and my AMH had dropped. I had diminished ovarian reserve. I was completely shaken up. How could this be? We suspected that I also probably had poor egg quality as I moved through egg retrievals. My first was utter failure with nothing making it to blast. i didn't despair yet. We changed my protocol and tried again. My second, one blast, but it resulted as chromosomally abnormal. We chose to test all of our embryos because it was thought that my loss was related to an abnormality, and I hoped to never have that experience again. My third retrieval, 2 made it to blast, but again both came back abnormal. At this point, my doctor stated discussing the potential need to use donor eggs. I was devastated. I felt betrayed by my body - I couldn't do something that I was biologically designed to do. That people do by accident. I felt like a failure, as a woman and as a wife. But though I was grieving the idea of what I thought my family would look like, I also knew I would do whatever it took to have a baby. So I registered with an egg bank and started looking for donors. But, I didn't feel done trying with my own eggs. I felt called to do another retrieval , and they let me. My 4th retrieval resulted in 2 normal embryos. One of which is my son! My first transfer. I am forever thankful for that success. I thought our fertility journey was over, since we had 2 embryos. early last year, I transferred our second embryo, that should have been O's brother, and though my transfer was successful, I miscarried at 8 weeks. Though it was a euploid embryo, they thought it was related to the quality. We had always said that since we were lucky enough to get one baby, if something happened, we would be content. But I so badly wanted another baby, and for O. to have a sibling. I thought that if I just kept pushing through, I could get lucky again. So I spent the rest of last year working to get another euploid embryo. it was complicated, for one of my retrievals I ended up ovulating early, so lost everything. We changed my protocol, but on that attempt I didn't stimulate well, so we chose to cancel it. My next attempt I had a cyst that complicated the cycle, but I ultimately went through with it, and got one euploid embryo! Then, on the recommendation of my RE, did another retrieval straight away, in the hopes that back to back stimulation would give me a boost. And it did - I stimulated the best I ever had. I had 14 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, and 10 fertilized. I thought for sure, I did it! I was persistent, and it was worth it. But out of the ten, only one made it to blast, and ultimately, it came back as abnormal. It was a terrible blow to have so much hope, then get nothing out of it. But I still had the one embryo. We transferred it end of march, and though everything was perfect, my transfer failed. So here I am, in the same spot as last year, still not feeling like I am done with my family building. I've proven that I can't continue to try to use my own eggs, and I feel at peace with that. I know that I tried as hard as i could. We have so much love to give still. I know that we have already been blessed with a baby, but I feel it in my soul that there is another baby out there for us. Both of us have siblings that we are close with, and we would love for O. to grow up with that same experience.

 

my sister has a three year old son, and [His name's] brother has 2 sons, ages 7 and 5. All of the cousins are very close. my family lives 3 hours away, but we visit when we can, and FaceTime often so O. feels close to them. Last year I hosted a cousin sleepover with all 4 boys. It was chaos, but so much fun. we made home made pizzas and watched movies. [His name's] parents and brother's family live close by, and we see each other often. His parents watch O. 1 or 2 days a week Depending on my schedule. 3 days a week he is in daycare. He loves going to school and seeing his friends. We bought a house in a suburb last year in a top rated school district. I've been working on making mom friends in the neighborhood and building a community. it's been going really well, and O. loves to play with the neighborhood kids. We also go to church regularly, and O. loves his kids group there. I did not grow up going to church, and always wondered if I missed out on that sense of community, and having a faith background that could be a source of comfort in difficult times. We started attending a local church when I was pregnant, so that O. could have the opportunity to grow up with that connection. They are very accepting and laid back, and a good fit for us. Overall, we have good support systems, and the means to provide a wonderful life for our children.

 

I love the idea of an open relationship with the donor family. I think it's important for the child to have the ability to ask questions and have whatever level of relationship they feel that they need with the donor family. I hope to develop a relationship organically, and would love for us to grow Into a place where we all feel like extended family. But I am very flexible as to what level of open Relationship we have, and would never want it to feel forced or uncomfortable. My main goal is to be open with the child about their origins, and to help them navigate that in the most healthy way possible.