As I sit down to write these words, I'm filled with a profound sense of gratitude and hope. The journey that has brought us to this moment, pursuing embryo adoption, is one marked by courage, love, and a resolute commitment to building a family.

My husband and I met in 2015 through mutual friends, but we really didn’t start hanging out until 2018. We started dating and found that we had a shared interest in a lot of similar activities and we knew right away that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We got married in 2020, yes, right in the middle of the pandemic. We were able to celebrate safely with family and friends, which was just what everyone else needed after being cooped up for the last 7 months and we had the best time ever.

I always remember singing the song about ‘first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage’ as a child with friends. So what did we do after our marriage? We tried to conceive a child for several months. We both always wanted to be parents and this is where our biggest journey in life started. My sister has two children and everyone around us was getting pregnant so we just knew our turn would be soon. We never expected the news from the doctor that we were now included in the 1 in 6 statistic of men and women who struggle with infertility. From that moment on we never knew how infertility would be such a struggle emotionally, physically and financially.

We started trying right after getting married because we knew we wanted to be parents. After about 6 months of trying we scheduled an appointment with our OBGYN to see what was going on because we were not getting pregnant naturally. We did several tests/procedures and our OBGYN said everything looked good and that we should keep trying, but they would try a few medicated cycles to try to help us. We then went through 6 medicated cycles and our OBGYN recommended us to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). We were not expecting that news, no one ever prepares you for what to do when you can’t conceive naturally because it seemed like everyone around us was getting pregnant so easily.

We booked our first appointment with the RE and we were very nervous for that first appointment. We did not know what to expect, what questions to ask and we didn’t know how we were financially going to afford everything because we do not have infertility coverage. We learned at our first appointment that IUI was not even an option because of male infertility that was missed by our OBGYN and then I also had diminished ovarian reserve. We were caught off guard by this diagnosis and were upset with our OBGYN for failing to provide us with this information. We jumped right into an IVF cycle because all we wanted to do was have a baby. Unfortunately our first round was unsuccessful with no embryos created, we were in disbelief. We knew IVF isn’t a 100% outcome, but we just had a feeling.

We decided to take some time to get healthier, take supplements and take a few more vacations that we had planned before jumping into another round of IVF. About 6 months later we started prepping for two more egg retrievals and the plan was to complete them back to back, which took a huge toll on my body mentally and physically, but we were able to get one normal tested embryo. We were ecstatic, we were so optimistic and we had a chance to become parents. We referred to the embryo as ‘the little embryo that could’. We did a mock transfer since we only had one embryo we wanted to give it the best opportunity to result in a live birth. We transferred our embryo and it stuck and we got our first positive pregnancy test. This was something we had been dreaming of for years and years. We were finally going to be parents, but we knew we had to make it to 13 weeks. Unfortunately our dreams came crashing down after our 8 week ultrasound appointment when there was no heartbeat and the baby stopped growing shortly after our 6 week ultrasound. We were heartbroken and devastated.

At that point we were out of money, out of hope and we just didn’t know what to do next. We took some time to heal, physically and emotionally, as well as do some traveling to take our mind off things and determine what we wanted our next steps to be. We put a lot of thought into doing more rounds of IVF, but we just couldn’t afford doing more rounds without a guarantee. So we looked at alternative options and I ended up meeting with someone who was going through the embryo adoption process to learn more about it and understand the process. Ultimately, we decided that embryo adoption would be the perfect plan for us to become parents and that it would allow us to have a pregnancy and be connected with the baby from the start.

We have plenty of room to welcome at least two children into our house. We live in a nice subdivision with a park, a conservancy behind us as well as access to trails and the county park. We are also fortunate enough to have my parents in the subdivision as well as my sister and her kids less than a mile away. My husband’s family is also pretty local, his parents, brother and family live within 45 minutes of us and his extended family all live less than an hour away as well. We have a 4 bedroom house with a fully finished basement that would likely become a large playroom someday. We purchased the house with at least two kids in mind, so we definitely have the space. The schools where we live are also great and my sister teaches at one which is an added benefit.

I have a hybrid job where I am in the office two days and work from home the other two days. I work four-ten hour days and have every Friday off. I work as a civil engineer with the department of transportation and really love what I do. My area of specialty is work zone safety, so I strive to develop standards and policies to make sure everyone goes home at the end of the day, whether they are a driver, passenger or a worker. I have loved this career path because I can see that I play a role in making a difference in my state. I have a very flexible schedule with a great work/life balance with plenty of vacation and sick time.

My husband works for law enforcement for the state. He wanted to join law enforcement because he felt he could make a positive impact on people’s lives and ensure the safety of traveling public and individuals around the state. He has a pretty flexible schedule as well, typically works during the day (not nights), no weekends and gets all holidays off as well. So we are very fortunate that we can celebrate holidays together.

We both get a few weeks of vacation and we use every week of it. We love to travel and see the country. We always have a trip booked, it is something that we really look forward to and it gives us something to be excited about. We also take a family vacation with my immediate family every year which is a blast and creates so many fun memories. I can’t wait for the day we get to travel with our own children and share the world with them too.

I have an older brother who is married with one dog, unfortunately they were unable to have children as well. I also have a sister who has two daughters and will soon be remarrying and will have a step daughter through her second marriage. My nieces are getting older, but any chance we get, we like to see them. They currently live 4 houses down, so that has been awesome. They love to have sleepovers with Auntie or just hang out for the day and go shopping. I am also the god-parent to my oldest niece. When they were little I used to babysit them on the occasional Fridays and take them to some of their activities or bring them lunch to school or pick them up from school. I like to say I am one of their biggest cheerleaders, always supporting them the best I can. It has been an absolute joy to be a part of their lives. Watching them grow makes us all the more excited for new milestones and stages of life with children of our own.

My husband has one older brother who is married and is expecting their first child this summer. We are so excited for them and can’t wait to have another niece in the family. He also has a younger brother who is getting married this summer, so we are excited to see what their future holds as well.

Both of our parents have been very impactful in our lives and we still are fortunate to have them around. We will often do dinners, cookouts, bonfires and play games with, really anything to get together and hang out. They are both very excited for the day we have children and can’t wait to help us with childcare and babysit.

My husband and I are always on the go, as I mentioned we love traveling, but when we are not traveling we are finding other things to keep us busy. We are big sports fans and will try to get to a few sporting events each year and like to travel to see different stadiums where our home teams are playing. We also enjoy working out to stay healthy and just recently completed a half marathon and 10k events. Where we live, there are also plenty of outdoor activities when the weather cooperates, so whether we are hiking, out on a boat, having a bonfire or having a cookout, you will see us outside. We also like to try new and local restaurants, so you will usually catch us out once a week for some delicious food.

My husband has very fond memories of spending time at the “river” with his dad and brothers. The ‘river’ was a small cabin in the woods where they would go hunting and spend quality time together. His dad can also be credited for his love of motorcycles and cars. My husband is a very handy guy who does all our maintenance on our cars and sometimes family and friends’ cars. He can’t wait to share these same experiences with his own little boy or girl.

I also have many memories with my family. We were fortunate enough to be able to take family vacations or travel to see my aunts/uncles who didn’t live near us. I was also big into sports and played almost every sport and ended up playing college soccer which was a huge accomplishment for me.

We have a lot of traditions for the holidays and most are spent with our families. His dad’s side of the family gets all the aunts, uncles and cousins together for all the holidays at Grandma’s house so we get to see the entire family together a few times a year. My extended family is very spread out, so our holiday gatherings are a little smaller with just my immediate family but we do something for all the major holidays. My husband has been in charge of the turkey for the last few years since we invested in a smoker and everyone loves how the turkey turns out. My favorite holiday is Christmas because I love giving gifts and I love to see Christmas through children’s eyes. It is just so much fun and I can’t wait to share these special moments with our kids one day. There is no doubt in my mind that they will be loved by every single person in our family. They know how much we have wanted to be parents.

We look back at all the memories we have had with our families and all the special moments we have with our siblings and parents and can’t wait to have memories with our own children.

As of late, it sure feels like all we see are pregnancy announcements, babies and invites to baby showers. We knew this journey would be challenging, but we never knew how bad it would get. We have had such an amazing support group to lean on during the tough times and I would never be able to get through some of these times without my husband by my side. We are also so grateful that our family and friends have been so supportive and without them we would not be where we are today.

Writing this letter has been a good reflection on our lives and our journey to get to this point. We have a lot of love to give to our future son or daughter, and will embark on the path of parenthood with open hearts. We truly hope that you will consider my husband and I as the recipient of your embryos so we can share the world with them. It will be our greatest adventure and a dream come true.