Dear Donor Parents,

Thank you for the opportunity to connect with you and share our story. We are honored and humbled to be able to share our story with you.

 

Our journey to parenthood is one that was completely unexpected and unlike anything we could imagine. [His name] and I met in college and as we got to know each other, we realized we shared a vision for the future, one that most and above all, centered around building and raising a loving family. [His name] comes from a large, close-knit family which he loved growing up in. I, too, grew up in a close-knit family that was, by comparison, much smaller to [His name]. But even as a child, I yearned to have a large family of my own. After [His  name] and I met and he shared with me that he wanted, “As many children as my wife wants and as many as we can afford”, as they say, the rest is history.

 

Fast forward through a wedding, graduate school, and a move halfway across the country to start our careers. We excitedly knew it was time to start building our family. Within a month of that decision, we were elated to learn that we were pregnant. The joy we felt could not be contained. This was the first grandchild on both sides of the family and our baby was more loved and anticipated than words can express.

 

It was at our 18-week anatomy scan that our world was irrevocably changed. We learned that our baby girl, whom we named Emma, had a very rare and life-threatening heart condition. The doctors advised us to terminate the pregnancy as they believed it was likely Emma would die in utero due to her weakened heart. Tim and I were devastated. We could not fathom the possibility of losing our daughter.

 

The doctors also advised us that if we did continue with the pregnancy, to be prepared to lose Emma at any moment due to the state of her heart. The likelihood of her surviving a full term pregnancy was extremely low. In addition, if she did survive to full term, the stress of labor and delivery would very likely kill her. Despite all of the unknowns and risks that lay before us, we knew Emma was meant to be and we would carry her as long as we could.

 

Emma proved to us all that she was stronger than any of us knew and it was our love for her and her love for us that sustained and carried us through the remaining months of her full term pregnancy. Emma was born on this side of heaven pink and eyes open, showing us all her strength and love. We held her for 26 minutes before she passed from this world into the next. What we felt in that moment and the days, weeks, and months that followed is difficult to put into words. We were so immensely grateful for those 26 minutes and also, we were utterly broken. To lose a child and to have and hold her so briefly and then let her go so soon was more than either of us could imagine or bear.

 

Something we learned through the time of carrying Emma was that her heart condition was caused by a genetic factor. Upon further testing, we learned that [His name] has a balanced translocation, a rare genetic condition in which a person is born with all of their chromosomes but in rearranged order. This means that the carrier of the balanced translocation, because they have all of their genetic material, does not typically suffer from health conditions. However, when that person conceives, their chromosomes may not separate evenly so that the conceived embryo may get too much or too little genetic material which can lead to serious health conditions. This is what happened with Emma and caused her heart condition. Going forward, we learned the risk of conceiving a child with another unbalanced translocation was high if we were to conceive on our own.

 

After further research and consultation with multiple doctors and genetic counselors, we decided that in order to grow our family in the safest and healthiest way possible, we would try IVF. Two rounds of IVF produced many embryos but all of which carried the same unbalanced translocation as Emma. It was then that we pivoted again. It was recommended by our doctors that we consider using donor sperm in order to conceive. [His name] and I both agreed that that was the right path for us going forward to parenthood. And, after two rounds of IUI using donor sperm through an anonymous donor, we were pregnant and welcomed our son, L., into the world.

 

We were over the moon to have L. safely in our arms. He was and remains such a light in our lives. And when L. was a year old, we decided we were ready to try again and welcome another baby into our family. Using the same anonymous donor and three IUI’s later, we were pregnant with our second daughter, E. We were so immensely grateful to have a healthy son and daughter earthside. L. was such a loving, caring big brother from the start and E. adored him. Two years after E. was born, we welcomed our second son, A., into the world. He, too, was conceived with the same donor using IUI.

 

We were thrilled and filled with such gratitude to have these healthy, happy children who were such tremendously bright presences in our lives. We felt so honored and humbled to be their parents and so grateful in our path going forward to build our family. We always knew we wanted a large family and we felt confident in the path set forth by our fertility clinic which had abundantly blessed us with three healthy children. When we returned to our fertility clinic a year after A. birth, we believed we would follow the same protocol and eventually, get pregnant. However, the return to our clinic and the process which we anticipated might take several months to conceive, turned into a multi-year-long journey, one which leads us to this very day and Embyro Solution.

 

After we returning to our fertility clinic, 16 IUI’s and 5 failed IVF cycles later, we were left without a positive pregnancy and feeling utterly heartbroken and defeated. There was no clear answer as to why we weren’t getting pregnant. All of the tests came back clear and uncovered no issues. We knew [Her name] could carry a pregnancy to term. Then came the news that our sperm donor was no longer available to donate. We realized it was time to pivot once again, we just didn’t know what that pivot was yet.

 

Fast forward several months when [Her name] came across an article about a couple who conceived their children via embryo adoption. Immediately, we both felt pulled to learn more. We were both struck by the immense love and selflessness that surrounds the entire process. From all sides, embryo adoption is a journey grounded in undeniable love, selflessness, compassion and courage. We were incredibly moved and knew in our hearts that this was where we were meant to go in order to continue building our family.

 

What we want you to know about our family is that we are incredibly close. We value time together, working together, learning together, playing together. When [His name] has work projects around the house, he includes the kids in what he’s working on. When there is something to cook, it is a family affair. The kids genuinely love spending time with each other and playing together - building forts, art projects, reading, exploring together.

 

As for family dynamics, [His name] is the steadfast, loving, fun presence in our lives who is always at the ready for an adventure and also, a witty sense of humor who makes us all laugh. [Her name] is the warm, loving, maternal energizer bunny who is rooted in family. L. is also a steadfast, loving leader to his siblings. He looks out for them and cares for them deeply. E. is a ball of immense energy and love who would love nothing more than to have more siblings and in her words, “Another sister!” A. is the loving little brother who looks to L. as a guide and E. as a second mom. We also have two rescue dogs, Lottie and Shelby, and two rescue cats, Leo and Seraphina, all of whom are immensely loved and spoiled and who are incredibly sweet and loving with kids (they get a lot of practice at our house :) We are a big animal-loving family.

 

[Her name] is a stay at home mom and [His name] is an attorney. [His name] work schedule is predictable and he is in the office Monday-Friday, 8:30-5:00. [Her name] also recently started her own private coaching practice two years ago which she dedicates approximately 6-8 hours a week to when [His name] is home with the kids. Our desire to live a life that is family focused first. We both have careers that allow us the flexibility to be present with our children and be hands on parents. Life is filled with school, music lessons, dog walks, soccer practice, dance lessons, outdoor time, and most of all, family time. In the evenings after dinner, you will often find us playing games like, "Sleeping Queens", chess, checkers, or "Trouble". We also love to read and that is something that is also a nightly ritual for us.

 

We live in a four bedroom house in a suburb outside of a major city. Our house backs up to a nature preserve which is a big reason why we chose it. It allows us access to sidewalks and walks into town as well as hiking and exploring the beautiful and protected land surrounding us. The kids spend a lot of time outside building forts and have their own "building site" that they created in the woods.

 

Most of [His name] extended family, lives nearby and whom we see often. They come to and cheer on the kids at their soccer games and E. dance recitals and we all gather together birthday celebrations, barbecues, and holidays. [Her name] parents live about two hours away and we also see them often. [Her name] also has a sister who lives just a few miles away from us. She is a fun-loving aunt who has kids of her own so there are a lot of family gatherings around birthdays, holidays, and just time spent together. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter are all holidays in which we gather as a large, extended family. Christmas cookie decorating, Christmas tree cutting and decorating, Christmas carols - these are all traditions that we hold and love.

 

Another tradition that we love and hold dear is our annual camping trip to Canada. We travel each summer to our family’s cabin that is situated in a remote part of the country overlooking a lake. It is an incredibly special time of the year when we all can unplug and let go of the regular rythms of life and savor the beauty of nature and simply being together. It is a family tradition we all treasure.

 

We are a perfectly imperfect family who loves each other deeply and who values our time together. It was our daughter, Emma, who taught us the power and measure of love and what it means to love without bounds and value what truly matters in life. And while we do not wish our journey upon anyone, we are immensely grateful for the gifts of wisdom and understanding we have gained from these hills and valleys of life. They are all gifts and we are incredibly grateful to be led here to Embryo Solution and to you.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read our story. We are honored and humbled by you considering us as potential adoptive parents of your embryos. What you have chosen to do is incredibly loving and we would be blessed beyond measure to be entrusted with the care and love of your embryos and to welcome them into our family.

 

With Love and Gratitude,