Dear prospective donor:

Fertility Background

I am happily looking forward to having children. However, the process has not been as straightforward as I anticipated. I am thirty-eight years old, older but healthy. Since I was a little girl, I happily looked forward to the time when I could be a “mommy.” I read parenting books and magazines when I was a teenager, babysat whenever I could, and picked out names of future children. I never found “the one”, the individual I would share my future with. It took me a while to bounce back from this disappointment and realize that I could still have a family. When I did renew my active desire to have a family, I tried sperm donors. It for whatever reason did not work out as smoothly and easily as I anticipated. It turns out that my egg count was very low, that of a 50-year-old! Doctors told me that there was very little chance that I would be able to conceive without intensive measures. I realized that I desperately still wanted a family but was going to need to reconsider biological children. I considered adoption but really wanted to experience pregnancy myself, be able to breastfeed, and experience all the milestones and experiences that come with pregnancy and infancy. I thought I had found an agency that was going to help me achieve this dream. I had even picked out the embryos I wanted! However, I found out that they suddenly shut down in April 2024, seemingly taking my dream with them. I am relieved to have found Embryo Solution and am optimistic that my dream of having a family is back on track.

Personal Background

I was born and raised in the midwest and continue to live in [state]. I am the oldest of two daughters and have two much older, adopted half brothers as infertility was an issue in my father’s first marriage too. I had a happy childhood, full of love, books, and imagination. I went to parochial school for the first eleven years of schooling before switching to a public school when my family relocated to a rural town. I loved school and did well academically. My father started off his career as an electrical engineer and ended his career as a pastor. My mother started her career as a case worker in the mental health field and ended her career as a children’s librarian. Therefore, I was raised to love books, God, and learning.

I am a special education teacher in a different rural town than I grew up in. I love my job and the children I serve. I have taught grades PK through adults, particularly loving the younger children. Just like becoming a parent was a goal since I was young, so was becoming a special education teacher. I love the challenge of making school accessible for all children and finding a way to create innovative curriculum and learning activities that brings learning to life for students who may have thought that they were not smart enough for school. I currently teach 7th and 8thgrade special education and plan to stay at this school for the remainder of my career. This school encourages their staff to put their families first, recognizing that a teacher cannot be their best if they are burned out, neglecting the needs of their families, or unhappy. As a result, the staff are very happy and supportive of each other. I have a Bachelors in Secondary (grades 6-12) Science Education, a master’s in special education, and a master’s in Trauma-Informed Education.

I own my home, a 4-bedroom split level, in a different rural town than which I work. I really love rural living because the communities are so cohesive. It has its downsides living in a small town, primarily having to drive half an hour for groceries, but it’s worth the inconvenience. I have a nice fenced in the backyard with plenty of room for a playset or swing set. I share my house with three dogs, Riley (a Great Dane mix), Harper (a red coonhound mix), and Disney (a border collie/husky mix). All three dogs are rescued as rescued pets are the best! The dogs are incredibly affectionate, loyal, and special to me. I believe they will be great with children. In fact, Disney used to be my “class dog” when I taught at a behavioral school. The children would never be left unattended with the dogs as that would not be fair to either the children or the dogs. I have already started reading up on introducing dogs to babies and practicing some of the strategies suggested. I will not get any more pets until the child can be a part of the selection process; I believe that this is crucial as pets are a part of the family and should fit in well.

Hobbies and Interests

In my free time, I enjoy spending time with my dogs, who keep me on my toes, reading, listening to audiobooks, watching crime dramas and Hallmark movies (odd combination, I know!), and spending time with my family. I see my mom and sister regularly, as well as my father and grandfather who both have medical issues that require additional care. My family is very important to me, and I love every opportunity to spend time with them.

I like to read and further my expertise in the areas of education and childhood trauma. This may include resources found online, books, and talking with other likeminded individuals. I got into my passion for traumatized youth through my work with students with emotional and behavioral disorders. These children have complex behaviors and require great patience and support, but I absolutely love working with this group. I am enjoying the “relaxing” job of working with students who primarily have learning or physical disabilities.

I love to travel but I don’t do it very often. Some memorable trips include kayaking with alligators in Florida, travelling to Walt Disney World with my mom, and travelling to Canada with a college group. I have been to several different states and have enjoyed every moment of it. I plan on going on day trips and vacations with my children, including trips to children’s museums, zoos, amusement parks/waterparks, and other adventures.

During the spring and summer, I love going to garage sales and rummage sales. I cut back after COVID, but I still enjoy the hunt for the best finds. In fact, I already have a stash of baby items waiting for my own little ones.

Support System

As mentioned above, my family is very important to me. They are an integral part of my support system. Although they do take care of my dad and grandfather, my mom and sister are always available to help me out. I realize that being a single mother will be the hardest job I will ever love and that I will occasionally need help. I know that my mom and sister will help me out as needed. In addition, I have a wonderful support system among my coworkers at my school. I am one of only a handful of teachers/staff that has not had children yet. Therefore, there are many experienced parents that are available to help me by answering my endless questions or lending me clothing and equipment. I have told some of my closest colleagues about my plans and they are so excited for me! My colleagues happen to also be my friends. I may not have a ton of friends, but the ones I have are worth their weight in gold.

Beliefs and Philosophies

I firmly believe in pursuing an education to the best of one’s ability. However, through my work with students with special needs, I recognize that this education may look different for different people. Whether that means entering the technical field, going to a two-year college, going to a four-year college/university, or beyond, they all have a needed place in our society. I will support my children in whatever field they choose. This includes being a productive member of society in whatever capacity suits them.

I will raise my children to be accepting and loving towards all people and animals, even if we have different beliefs. I am a Christian but am currently between churches. I plan on making a relationship with God a part of my children’s life. I have seen the immense harm that some religious people can cause on those around them, including a lack of love and tolerance for others, especially the LGBTQ+ community. My children will not be a part of these harmful actions. Exposure to other cultures is important to me. Unfortunately, living in a small town can make this a challenge, but I am prepared to make an intentional effort to introduce my children to diverse cultures and people. My children will be accepted by me no matter who they are as a human being. My goal as a parent is to raise well-rounded children who feel safe to be themselves and want to make a difference in the world around them.

I believe that children should be raised with compassion, patience, and strong relationships. Although I do not intend to be my young children’s friend, I do strive to have such a relationship with them that they feel safe coming to me no matter what, that nothing will be too scary to approach me about. I will be a firm but fair parent, striving for natural consequences and learning opportunities rather than punitive disciplinary measures. As part of my reading on childhood trauma, I have come to realize that the relationship between parents and their children can have a lasting impact on the well-being of the children.

My children will know from the time they are young that they joined my family in a different way than their peers. This will be done in an age-appropriate way. For example, I have a list of children’s books that I plan to get for my children that discuss embryo adoption in a child-friendly manner. I will participate in all the training and requirements to ensure that I am setting my children and myself up for success when it comes to navigating the discussion about their original family.

I aim to take as long of a maternity leave as possible. When it comes time to go back to work, my children will likely be in daycare. I have already started looking at daycares to ensure that I can find the best place for my children, one in which they are safe, nurtured, and provided with enriching activities. I think I have found the one that will be best for my children, provided there is room when the time comes. It will allow my children to be with the same children and adults from infancy through preschool and will allow me to be close by, minimizing the time away from them. Then, they will attend school in the same district that I work in. As I mentioned earlier, I am incredibly happy with the district that I work, and I believe that the schools will do right by my children.

I hope through this letter that you have gotten to know me better and will consider me as a parent of the children that you have created through your embryos. Please feel free to reach out through Embryo Solution if you have any further questions.