Dear Donor Family,

 

We hope this letter finds you doing well! Thank you so much for taking time to get to know us a little better. We count it a gift and a blessing that you’re considering us as embryo adoptees!

Our names are [His name] and [Her name], and we’re an interracial, Caucasian and Black couple that have been married for eleven years, and we are thankful for each other and truly enjoy life together.

 

We love to travel, and have been to Jamaica, Aruba, France and various U.S. states, and on a yearly basis, we visit nearby mountains and our favorite beach spot. But we don’t stay away for too long, because we love the city and surrounding area that we live in. There’s so much to do here, starting with supporting our local sports teams (that all love to disappoint us) along with the arts, theatre and wonderful places to eat. [His name] is an avid soccer player (he’s a goalie) and [Her name] is a dedicated runner who dabbles in triathlons, and our city gives us lots of opportunities to play in the local vicinity. Our church is just ten minutes away (we both play in the worship band – [His name] plays electric guitar and [Her name] sings), our families are a short drive away, and our extensive friends-who-are-our-family group is here. We love it here.

[His name] had a really interesting childhood. His parents became missionaries in their 30s, so at thirteen years of age, it was decided his family would travel to Mexico for mission work! [His name], as the oldest of eight children, was used to being a little different, but imagine the huge jolt of leaving family and friends, his school, and the comfort of the United States to go to a foreign country! However, [His name] now says he wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. During that time, [His name] would gain familiarity with the Spanish language, and learn about and live in a completely different culture for two years.

 

When the time came for college, [His name] experience was like many teenagers. He attended for a year and a half, but wasn’t quite focused, and his grades started slipping. He dropped out for a while and began working in sign shops, giving him a start in graphic design, a skill [His name] had always been drawn to (pun intended!) Later on, [His name] dad encouraged him to return to school, and he finished his Bachelor’s degree with strong grades, while also working. [His name] began a graphic design career, and worked for a nonprofit for several years, before working for a radio station and a few corporate entities, doing design work. While working for the nonprofit, [His name] met [Her name].

 

[Her name] grew up the eldest daughter of her parents, with just one younger sister. [Her name]  parents were very diligent in their Christian faith and encouraged scholastic achievement. [Her name]  childhood was stable and healthy, with fond memories of doing Jane Fonda exercise videos with her mom, singing in the car to the latest music her dad bought, and spending summers with her grandparents in another state. [Her name]  participated in EVERYTHING - gymnastics, dance, cheerleading, basketball, volleyball and choir. Totally Type A. [Her name]  skipped 8th grade at her small Christian school, finished up high school and was honored to receive a college tuition scholarship, double majoring in English and Spanish. She wrote for her college newspaper, was a Resident Assistant, taught aerobics and sang in two musical groups. Always busy, all the time. Even though she didn’t date her entire college career, [Her name]  managed to win Homecoming Queen of her university (which still shocks her to this day!), due to having acquired such a diverse friend group.

 

[Her name]  finished college, spent a summer singing in a music group, and then started her career, working initially at a publishing company on third shift, and two years later, stumbling into the insurance industry, where she’s worked ever since.

 

In the meantime, [His name] and [Her name] had dating histories that shared many similarities. The similarity was that we didn’t date much! [His name] had a long-time, seven-year relationship with a high school sweetheart that ended painfully, with only one significant relationship afterward. [Her name] dating experience was even quieter, going on her first date when she was 28 years old! [Her name]  was even declined by eHarmony (for real!), and only dated a handful of guys for short periods of time. We both watched everyone get married and have kids, over and over again. But, on one special day, [Her name] had to lead enrollment meetings at a nonprofit company and was surprised to see some friends she knew, and one of those friends, introduced her to a guy named [His name]. It turns out that [Her name] and [His name] had been attending the same church but had never met! Very quickly, we realized that we had so much in common. Despite different cultural backgrounds, we’d had very similar upbringings. We both speak some Spanish, and love sports and music. We’d even attended a few of the same concerts, without knowing each other was there! Our wedding was an AMAZING day, celebrating with 180 of our closest family members and friends! After rejoicing with so many friends and family through our life changes, it was redemptive to have our own special celebration.

 

After getting married, we waited two years before trying to start a family. [Her name] ran her first marathon, and then a few more! When she took a break to try for a baby, she got pregnant within just two months! We were ecstatic. But we lost that pregnancy at 7 ½ weeks. While we were devastated, we were encouraged that we had gotten pregnant quickly, and that we’d get more chances. However, that was not to be.

 

The next few years were full of LIFE. [His name] lost his job unexpectedly and it took ten months to find another one, and an even longer period before he found the right landing spot. The church where we’d met started to fall apart due to some internal issues. [Her name] job began a reorganization, adding a lot of stress to her role, and the “small” home remodel we’d started was in its hardest phase, with workers coming in and out, and dust everywhere. We were fortunate people, but we were exhausted and stressed. No pregnancy occurred during this time, which wasn’t surprising.

 

After a year and a half in a corporate position and another unexpected layoff, [His name] took on several contract jobs while searching for his next full-time role. He realized he enjoyed being his own boss, and felt compelled to become a full-time freelance graphic designer. That decision has been a phenomenal one, and [His name] has thrived in this role, basically having his own business. [Her name] rose in her job, and raced whenever possible, beating numerous personal goals. Our home remodel was complete, and we got our wind back, gaining health in spirit and in mind. We returned to trying on our own for a baby, and spent the next year with no success. This led to IUIs – too many to count, honestly – and finally IVF, which didn’t produce enough eggs to get started. Our tests, labs, and cycles were great. There wasn’t a concrete medical explanation for why we weren’t able to have a child.

 

When our church imploded, we joined a new fellowship, and to our surprise, it was full of people who’d adopted children, including our own pastor and his wife, who’d had numerous miscarriages, had two biological children and adopted their third. One day, another couple in the middle of a traditional adoption (they now have a wonderful baby girl) told us about embryo adoption, and we found out that our friend and her husband’s twins came from decade-old frozen embryos! So, even as our traditional fertility efforts were unsuccessful, we held on to the hope of having children, some way, somehow. As a couple that had to wait much longer than others to find each other, embryo adoption is consistent with our story, that sometimes great things take time.

 

Our hopeful future child would have their own room in our cozy ranch style house, and would instantly have two fun kitty playmates named CeCe and Winston, who are already excited about having someone else to follow around! Our child would enjoy two sets of very excited grandparents who can’t WAIT for their arrival, lots of uncles and aunts, and birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations just a short drive away. We tend to make up a lot of random songs in our household, so our child would grow up with music and parents who can invent up a tune out of the most mundane experiences! [Her name] always wanted to write a children’s book, so days would end with reading a Dr. Seuss story, The Chronicles of Narnia, or [Her name] storytelling an idea at bedtime. Weekends would be spent with cheering daddy on while he plays soccer and kicking the ball afterward, talking a walk with mommy or playing, with Sundays attending church and running around the children’s building, meeting new friends. Our hope is to encourage learning, stay attuned to our child’s interests, and nurture their talents. We want to gently lead this child and pray for them as they figure out the world, little by little.

 

Both of us work as telecommuters, which has been great. If we are blessed with a child, it is our intention that [His name] will continue working and [Her name] will leave her sales job and stay home with our little one for at least a year, and hopefully for much longer after that. We’ve made financial accommodations in advance to allow for this, and [Her name] is also looking into alternate work options (like voiceover work) that can be done on a freelance basis, that sync well with raising a child. We don’t think that current [Her name] job is the right fit for parenting, so we have a plan to address that. We’ve waited so long to be parents, and we want to give parenting the best energy that we can.

 

So, now we’re here, with open arms, hoping and praying for the right opportunity for embryo adoption. We want to give the right donor parents peace, knowing that their embryos will have great parents that will love them with all their hearts. We are open to all sorts of adoptions, so know that, if you feel drawn to us, we will do all we can to accommodate all that is needed to make it all work out beautifully. Thank you so much for your consideration.

 

Sincerely,

[His name] [Her name]