First, a note of gratitude for being a donor. We never imagined we would be in the position to write this letter; we are grateful and excited for the potential adoption of your embryos!

A bit about us and our journey…

We (P & S) met in 2013 by chance through a mutual interest in learning the Italian language. Friendship quickly grew to attraction, and we discovered that not only did our personalities complement one another, our values and belief systems were also well aligned. We felt this was a rare connection to find. After dating for a few years, we got married in 2015. Our dream was always to have a family with at least 3 kids. Years passed and we started the journey to IVF when we miraculously conceived our daughter who was born in 2018. Fast forward to present and after years of trying on our own, one failed IUI and 5 failed rounds of IVF, we have stumped the fertility experts. Yet, we are still eager to grow our family. Our resources and hearts are ready for more. We have considered all other options from individual donors to traditional adoption and clearly believe that the embryo donor/adoption route best fits our family building journey.

We live in a wonderful, safe and inclusive community; 3 blocks from our elementary school and the community pool. We have a spacious home, with ample space for kiddos, a lovely backyard with plenty of green space to run and play. We have a strong support system with family that lives as close as 2 miles from our home – including elementary-age cousins. Additionally, we own a vacation rental which we manage and enjoy the cottage ourselves when it’s not rented out.

We both have stable employment; P as a Biologist (PhD) and S as a Human Resources Program Manager (bachelor’s degree). S works 100% remotely, and P has a flexible schedule, which allows a healthy work-life balance to prioritize being parents. Both of our employers also have excellent time-off options to support a strong bonding experience with a new baby.

Our core values are empathy, respect, and family. Our hobbies include travel, photography, exploring nature, hiking, canoeing, etc. On an average weekend you might find us BBQ-ing on the patio, kayaking on a lake, or visiting the Farmer’s Market. We find the best memories come from “being in the moment” together. P enjoys home improvement projects and woodworking using creativity to make unique pieces, while S loves working out, crochet and playing the piano.

Our parenting style is respectful, restorative accountability; when we wrong someone, we don’t just say we are sorry, we make it right. We do not believe in corporal punishment (i.e., hitting, or spanking). Children should be loved unconditionally for who they are, that is something we believe is our first job as parents. We believe that most kids thrive with structure and routines – we always balance this with flexibility over rigidity. We understand that every child’s needs are unique and we are committed to understanding what helps them to thrive. Our style is supportive exploration rather than forced participation in sports, arts, etc. The best outcome as a parent is seeing you’ve raised an empathetic, resilient kid who feels self-worth and is confident to just be themselves.

We believe that education is a powerful and important foundation for all children. We enrolled our daughter in private pre-K for two years before she attended our local public elementary school. We intentionally moved to an area that has one of the highest-rated schools in the state, it is nationally recognized for its strong academics, high graduation rates, and teacher quality. It also has exceptional support for children with special needs. While our intention is to continue using the public school system, we are committed to a child-first approach to determine what educational pathway is appropriate.

Having a non-biological family member will have unique aspects and challenges. We intend to navigate this thoughtfully and early with our children and use age-appropriate ways to share their unique roots. We will support our children in whatever ways help them to navigate how they uniquely feel about this topic (i.e. therapy, counseling, cultural connections, genetics/health, etc.). Our intent is to treat all our children with equitable love and support, no matter their biology.

Our daughter is 7 years old and just finishing 2nd grade. She is creative, curious, and kind - obsessed with dinosaurs and dragons and can craft for hours. She loves reading to us – we know she will love reading to a new baby too. Having a new sibling would thrill her – she has not been quiet about how she wants more kids in our family!

It is hard to know how to close a letter like this. We feel humbled that you are considering us for your embryo donation and grateful for your willingness to go through this process; we know it was not an easy decision and we are so grateful. We are happy to answer any other questions you may have for us.

Sincerely,

P & S