HEADLINE: Educated, loving, musical couple seeks embryo donors to expand their family and fulfill stepmom’s motherhood dreams.

Hello! We are Laura and Alex. We have been married for two years and have lived together as a family for the last four years. Alex’s two daughters, ages 7 and 11, live with us half of the time. We love music, staying active, reading, cooking nourishing food, and spending quality time together. We are seeking to expand our family and make Laura’s dream come true to carry a child and become a mom.

Laura has had a long road to get to this moment. She became very ill at age 28, spending years in and out of the hospital and almost dying from serious surgical complications. In her early

30’s, when most of her friends were getting married and having their babies, her whole focus wason healing physically, emotionally and spiritually. At 33, having regained her strength and health, Laura met Alex when she joined his ultimate frisbee team. We were friends first, before we began dating. With Alex came his two incredible daughters (ages 3 & 1/2 and 7 at that

time). Laura remembers the first time we all snuggled up on the couch with a book, taking turns reading out loud and feeling joy like she had never experienced. It was love times three.

Alex is not able to have any more children, and he asked Laura early on if she was going to be okay raising his daughters and not having her own children. She told him something that remains true to this day: “I know I can love someone else’s children as if they were my own.” She deeply loves parenting her stepdaughters but has come to understand how being their stepmom is not the same thing as being their mother, who is heavily involved in their lives.

We talked periodically about Laura’s growing and increasingly intense desire to be a mom. We agreed sperm donation didn’t feel right for our family, as we wanted a more symmetrical relationship with our child. So even though Laura wanted the experience of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, etc., we decided to try and grow our family through newborn adoption. But we became daunted by the long time frame, huge costs, and painful stories about couples being matched multiple times, only for the adoption to fall through for varying reasons. We were unsure of what to do next until a close friend mentioned embryo donation to Alex, and he excitedly told Laura about it. As we learned more about embryo adoption, we felt joy and certainty, realizing it was the perfect combination of what we wanted: adoption and biological motherhood!

We live in a cute neighborhood only a few blocks from a lake that we bike around and paddle board on when it’s warm. Our street is quiet, with over a dozen young kids on our block alone.Most of the neighborhood kids play outside together and our younger kiddo, who turns 8 this December, has a wonderful time running around with them. Our neighbors often spot us all playing soccer or frisbee in the front yard or drawing with chalk on the driveway, and sometimes join us. We live in a cozy, but spacious, four bedroom, two bath home; there’s almost always paperwork, toys, and books about, but we stay on top of it to keep the house a place where we can be creative and calm. Our backyard is lovely, with a great lawn, a play structure, and a firepit, as well as a garden where we grow herbs, veggies, and strawberries. In summer, we hang out at the local pool and coach our younger kiddo’s soccer games in the fall and spring. At family dinners, our younger daughter is always making up knock knock jokes or

quizzing us with math problems. We have always done bedtime reading and snuggles, switching off between rooms. As the kids have gotten older, they want more time alone to read, and we give them space when they ask for it, but we still give them a hug and kiss, and often have some of our most meaningful conversations about life, school and family just before switching off the light.

Though we aren’t religious, we celebrate most of the Christian mainstream holidays with a

focus on family, love, kindness, good food, and the spirit of giving. Alex has learned not to make our annual egg hunt too difficult, as one year the girls were brought to tears in frustration at how hard it was–we all laugh about it now. We walk to our local 4th of July Community Parade and weekend festival. Sometimes we set off small fireworks in our street; sparklers are a favorite for all of us. A new fall tradition is driving to a farm nearby with a haunted barn, caramel apples, and animals we love to feed–especially the baby goats that drink milk from bottles. We take a tractor-pulled wagon out to the pumpkin patch and apple orchard. For trick- or-treating on Halloween, we go all out, often dressing up to match the theme of the kids’ homemade costumes (they ask us to, we swear, which is how Alex wound up as Steve from Stranger Things and Laura a My Little Pony…). This year we hosted family for Thanksgiving; Alex bought a fresh turkey from the local meat market near our house, and made cherished family recipes for pumpkin pie and dressing; Laura’s side of the family celebrated with us. Alex and his older daughter made the pies together; the next day, while taking a walk through our nearby nature preserve, she told Laura she loved helping bake and was really proud of it–even though they had to throw away the first pie crust because it didn’t turn out quite right. For Christmas, we drive to a tree farm and take a long hike to find the perfect tree, which Alex cuts down. This has been his family’s tradition since he was a child. Then he drags it back to the car while the girls help carry it. We decorate the tree together. One of the girls climbs on Alex’s shoulders to put the star on top. Last year, the four of us spent an evening singing Christmas carols with Laura on the piano and Alex on the guitar; our older kiddo decided it would be an annual tradition. We get together with the girls’ mom for Christmas morning, so everyone can share in the magic of the kids opening presents, then we head out of town to visit Alex’s parents,brother, sister-in-law and our three nieces. The kids play and have an absolute blast together for a few days.

For the kids' birthdays, we let them choose how and where they want to celebrate; the girls’ mom feels strongly about doing the majority of birthday planning with the kids, so this is something Laura especially looks forward to doing with our future child. Laura is an incredible cake designer, so she makes the birthday cakes based on whatever theme or design her stepdaughters come up with. Alex helps support their vision, bringing everything together on time, making late night runs to the grocery store for extra powdered sugar for the frosting.

Alex’s parents live in another state, so we Facetime with them at least once a week to catch up. They fly in to visit us and Alex’s brother and his family at least twice a year. We try to visit them annually, but that has been a struggle during the pandemic. We hope to restart the tradition this summer. Laura’s father lives close by and often joins us for dinners at our home or out at restaurants. He also helps with home improvement or outdoor projects such as the “ryck” he and Alex recently built for the firewood in our backyard. Laura’s mom is in a care facility nearby where we can visit her.

Alex is a high school English teacher. Laura is a continuous improvement consultant at the local university and works mostly from home. Of course becoming new parents will impact our work lives. But family is our priority, and we are blessed to have wonderful employers, as well as comprehensive insurance and leave benefits.

When the kids aren’t here, we try to be active together or cook more ‘adult’ meals that the kids might not like. We might watch tv or a movie, or catch up on work if needed. One of our greatest passions, and the one that really brought us together, is music. We write songs together, Alex on the guitar, Laura on the mandolin or violin, and both of us singing.

But even though we find ways to fill time and space, we can’t deny that there’s a sense of limbo in the house when the kids are with their mother. We talk about and wonder what the kids are up to. It's on those days that we most acutely feel the space for our family to grow.

We believe our daughters will do very well with a new sibling. Of course, they will go through all the natural struggles any children do when a baby joins the family, but we teach them that love is infinite: there is always more love to give and be given. Our baby will be born into a blended family, where their siblings are much older and come back and forth, but our daughters are

well-adjusted and happy kids, who love to read and play and spend time as a family, and we know they will love doing those things with their baby sibling. Our younger daughter loves babies; we know she will be so excited to see every milestone. Our older daughter is currentlytalking about taking a babysitting class; we know she will love to help care for her baby sister or brother. We know our future child will love the time they spend with their big sisters, but also love the time they have just with the 3 of us.

Wanting to be a mom is the biggest dream Laura has ever had. Alex is supportive of Laura and her dream. We have made a home that is full of love, warmth, music, and joy; together we make an incredible team. We aren’t perfect, but we respect each other and always seek to grow and be better versions of ourselves. It is with true vulnerability and deep gratitude that we ask you to consider us as parents. It is one of the greatest honors we can imagine. We will love, support, and cherish our future baby. We will raise them to be a positive, strong, thoughtful person who cares deeply for their family, their community and the planet. We will make sure they understand how and where they came from, being open to their questions, while celebrating the unique and special way they came into our lives.