When I was younger, I thought I was able to mold my life exactly how I wanted it to be. Get an education. Get a good job. Find one soulmate without dealing with the frogs. Get the house “with the dog, and the white picket fence...” Most importantly to me, have the ability to have children. I didn't always see myself as a mother when I was younger, but for the past several years, it was my goal since at least 2014. I started my fertility journey in 2019, then had a break up and the Covid pandemic began. I poured myself in to helping at the hospital I work at, pulling overtime shifts to help with "all hands on deck," doing things an Occupational Therapist should not have to do, including restarting IVs, being the only one in the room as a patient passed away so they would not be alone, and wrapping up the deceased who died from Covid. .After I felt like I was in a good place mentally and emotionally after my break up and the stresses of Covid, friends around me losing their jobs, etc, I decided to focus on my pregnancy journey again in Jan 2021. I went with a doctor that a couple of friends had success with, and he was one of the cheaper clinics. After 3 failed IUIs, I wanted to know why, and he didn't have any answers except "it must be you." At this time, I was having significant abdominal pain and I nearly passed out on a beach on a family vacation, ended up getting a fever and became tachycardic. When questioning him, he said it was a GI issue. I knew it was a gynocological issue but went through an unnessessry colonoscopy that I had to pay for out of pocket, which came back normal and clean. At this time, I had lost trust in this doctor and moved to my current clinic in August 2021. That doctor looked at imaging the previous doctor did in 2019 (my HSG) and did NOT repeat prior to starting fertility treatment again in 2021. He said the HSG in 2019 was normal which was false. My new doctor looked at it and said back then it was dialated aka endometriosis was present and now in August 2022 it is even more dialated and severe. This prompted an emergency surgery where I had several endometriomas and endometriosis removed, including, unfortunately, my fallopian tubes (salpingectomy). I started my IVF cycles in Jan 2023 and had a total of 3. Out of the 3 cycles, either my eggs did not make it to the blastocyte phase (my clinic is a frozen clinic) or they were genetically abnormal. On average I got 9-13 eggs each retrieval but unfortunately due to my endometriosis, often the "eggs" in one ovary turned out to be cysts or endometriomas. I only got one genetically normal embryo and only one chance at pregnancy. It was negative. I decided that 3 cycles was my limit due to emotional and financial strain. It seemed silly to keep pouring money and emotions in to something that kept giving me similar results at $20,000 a cycle. My company does not cover fertility services so my fertility journey was 100% paid for by me, totalling more than $75,000 when you account for procedures, sperm donor purchase and medications per cycle. I tried getting grants but was "over income" or just not chosen.

I have since completed weekly counseling to grieve this process. I still have a strong desire to be a mother, so I met with a foster and adoption company and realized I am not cut out for fostering. Though I am very empathetic and caring and know I can give a child a good/better life, having to drive the child to weekly supervised visits with a parent that may or may not "deserve" the child, and possibly giving back a child I may have bonded with for 2-3 (or more) years is not something I can handle emotionally. I have a lot of friends who have been through IVF/infertility struggles and I was told about embryo adoption. Part of wanting to be a mother was to bond with a baby and feel all the things, good and bad, with being pregnant. What I wouldn't do to feel morning sickness or for a baby to kick while inside me. This is why I met with embryo adoption companies and ultimately went with Embryo Solution.

I have been with my partner, L for more than 3 years. Though we spend a lot of time together, I still have my own house and she has hers so I commute between both at this time, it is about 25 minutes each way. The plan has always been to move in together when the time is right. If I am to get pregnant, this would occur then. She has a 13 yo boy, and a 14 yo girl. We are all very close.

.I have a dog named Theo who is a mixed breed terrier, and she has two dogs, a goldendoodle named Gracie and a dacshund mix named Presley. All three were rescued as we believe in the "Adopt dont shop" theory. We just recently adopted a 4th dog, a puppy named Sadie.

We parent together and the kids respect me but we do not use labels such as "stepkids" or "stepmom." L and I raise the children to be true to themselves and be honest with no secrets, and no topic is off limits to discuss. We believe that if this is how the children are raised, they will come to us with anything from a bully at school, or boyfriend/girlfriend talk, etc. We value quality time together more than materialistic things, and take a lot of trips. This past year we went up north a couple of hours to hike, stay in an A frame cabin in the woods, fish and paddleboard. We also went to all of the Utah National Parks, Yosemite, and took them out of the country for the first time ever, to Mexico to a beach resort. We went on a family camping trip with 20 members of L family which included paddleboarding, fishing, kayaking, and teaching the kids responsibilities of setting up a tent, packing their own bags, safely using camping equipment, etc. We all enjoy the outdoors whether it is hiking, walking the dogs, playing, swimming, camping, paddleboarding and sometimes running. L family are all within 30 minutes of each other including her 3 siblings and their spouses, multiple cousins, and her parents. They are a great support to us and are very close. I know they would assist as needed and love a baby of mine as their own. My family lives on the east coast but would also assist, travel, etc. Our plan is to move closer to my family in the next 5 years.

I was raised in the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate NY by my two parents. My mom is an RN and worked in the Emergency Room for 40 years. My dad worked for Xerox and both are now retired. I am the 3rd of 4 siblings. My sister, M is the oldest, she is a graduate admissions counselor at a university. My older brother, B is a Pharmacist. My younger brother, T, works in the town I was raised and currently lives with my parents. We are all close, have a group message between the 6 of us daily, and get together for an annual family trip in the summer to Cape Cod, and definitely for Christmas. As I live out of state now, I see them 2-3 times a year. My plan is to move back east within 5-6 years to be closer to my family, but my partners kids need to be 18 before we do that.

My parents raised us semi strictly, with rules and bedtimes and respect for your parents. We did not really have any chores as my mother actually enjoys cleaning, washing the floor on her hands and knees, and making sure the vacuum lines were perfect. We did help out a lot around the house as needed, however, including bringing in wood by the armful in the winter or shoveling the sidewalks. My parents raised us with good morals and values including if you want something, earn it, it will not be handed to you. I believe that parents are to be parents, not your best friend, though you can be friendly and close to your kids. I followed in my siblings footsteps to be involved in as much as I could at school. I played the only three sports offered in my small school to girls and that was soccer, basketball and softball. I got MVP, sportmanship and first team in all of them. I was president of the National Honor Society, I was a governing member of the Student Government. I was the editor of the yearbook, a member of the french club, and other things. I played the trumpet from 4th grade until senior year and still own it to this day. I was fortunate that back when I went to school, the instruments were given to me for free. My school was odd because the athletes WERE the bandmembers, there was no differentiation.

It was known that growing up during Christmas, that at a certain age, you would get something, so then you would not ask for it until that age. For example, and I am definitely aging myself here, but, I was 14 when I got a CD player boombox, but I was not getting that leather jacket until I was 15. We have a family tradition that at Christmas, my mother hides a small bear from an old Avon Xmas ornament and to this day, even though we are 36yo and older, we still race to look for it. We have always gone around from oldest to youngest, opening presents, one by one, to give respect and attention to the person opening the presents, and to my parents for spending all the time and money on them. Usually my mother has a story for each present and why/when she bought it. Until my grandmother passed away, my extended family would get together at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have had a lot of loss in my time on earth as many people do. I never knew my grandfathers as my Mom's dad died when she was 14, making her have to grow up quickly and help her Mom, then a single mother of 4 girls. My dad's father died when I was 1 or 2. My grandmothers passed away in the last 10 years. My mom's sister, P, died of alcohol related illness. I only have a few cousins as my extended family is small, including twin cousins on my father's side. I have a lot of talent in my family from caning chairs to woodworking, carpentry, knitting, needlework, etc.

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