Hello!

First, I’d like to thank you for what you’re doing. I never imagined that embryo adoption would be the path that we would need or choose, but now that we are here it feels right for us and it wouldn’t be possible without the generosity of families like yours. Of all the things I want you to know, I want you to know that I appreciate you.

Neither [His Name] nor I believe in love at first sight. And yet, it’s the only way to describe what happened when we met.17 years ago. The strength of the feelings we had for each other took both of us by surprise. What’s maybe even more surprising is how that love continues to deepen and grow. I think the reason for that is because we recognize that our relationship is the foundation on which everything that we have and will achieve is built upon and that it must be strong for us to succeed in pursuing and reach our goals. Through hard work and a lot of good fortune, we’ve been able to achieve every goal we’ve set for ourselves, and we have a beautiful and comfortable life. Our plans never included children. I think each of us, in our own way, doubted that we had enough to offer a child—that we would be good enough as parents. And then those plans changed, as things often do, slowly and all at once. I’d like to I think it was a matter of realizing that we had everything we needed to offer: our fierce commitment to our family and the overwhelming desire to welcome a baby into this wonderful life we’ve built.

[His name] and I met in [state] and shortly after moved to [city] where we were fortunate enough to have jobs that we cared about and to buy our first home. We loved living in [city], particularly the abundance of amazing restaurants, getting to see great stand-up comedians, and a thriving triathlete community in which [His name] could train and compete. We’d lived in [city] for about eleven years when we decided it was time to start a new adventure that would bring us closer to my hometown and family. Being closer to family and being able to be more involved in the lives of our niece and nephew were the primary reasons for leaving [city], but we had other reasons as well. Having absolutely loved every minute of earning my BA in English and Creative Writing, I’d always wanted to go to grad school. [His name], who took a break from his career as a chef role to work at a fair trade, organic, bean-to-bar chocolate factory, felt ready to take the leap and open up his own restaurant.

We started making our plans in mid-2018 and moved to our new home in 2020. And we all know what happened in 2020. Undaunted by a global pandemic, [His name] opened his café in October of 2020. Not only did his business survive, but it has thrived through the support of an incredibly enthusiastic customer base. The café has also given us a chance to put some of our values into action such as serving an elevated cuisine made from fresh, local, and sustainably sourced ingredients in a laidback atmosphere that is more affordable than your typical “fancy” dining experience. Additionally, we have committed to paying our amazing staff a living wage as well as offering profit sharing and paid time off­–benefits which are rarely offered to folks working in food service. We’re also looking at expanding our benefits to include health insurance and 401k matching, hopefully in the next year. I cannot overstate what a privilege it’s been to support [His name] in realizing his dream and watching that dream succeed beyond our wildest expectations.

Earning my Masters in English during a pandemic was not the experience I’d anticipated, but it was one I am extremely grateful for. In my fellow cohort of graduate students, I found the kindest and most generous support system possible. Being closer to home and having some flexibility in my day-to-day life also enabled me to be there for my family in a way that was important and deeply meaningful as my father’s health has recently been deteriorating and my mother lost her husband to a sudden stroke.

For both [His name] and I, these last couple of years have shown us that our ability and desire to support our family (both genetic and chosen) and community is what is most important to us. I completed my degree in Spring 2022 and am now also working at the café as the General Manager. I am lucky enough to be nerdy about many things. So, while managing a café may not be in my educational field, it allows me to exercise the parts of my brain that thrive on the logistical aspects of planning and organizing. Our lives are busy and infinitely fulfilling, mostly, I think, because no matter how busy we are, we always make time for each other. Our connection to each other and our commitment to our relationship as well as our extended family energizes and strengthens us.

In our free time we love to travel and luckily, we both love to travel in the same way: pick a city, rent an apartment, and explore. We’re not cruise or guided tour travelers, preferring to explore on our own and at our own pace with a goal of experiencing what living in a place feels like for the short time that we’re there, whether that be Paris, Barcelona, or the North Shore of Hawaii.

[His name] is also a triathlete who competed, most recently, in Iron Man Barcelona. I, on the other hand, am a bit more sedentary, preferring to knit, read, or watch a movie (preferably under a pile of dogs) rather than swim, bike, run. We both love good food and find that sharing a special meal with friends or family is one of our favorite ways to spend our time.

We have three shelter dogs: Buster, a chihuahua Pomeranian mix, Daisy, a terrier chihuahua mix, and Lola, a Taiwan mountain dog. They are an adorable pack with distinct and entertaining personalities. I grew up with cats and so I refer to Buster as our “gateway dog”—the dog that made me want to adopt all the dogs. My dream retirement years would be spent rescuing dogs from shelters and finding them forever homes.

Most importantly in terms of parenting, we believe in unconditional love and acceptance. My mother modeled that for me in the most amazing ways and it will always be mine and [His name] priority to make sure that our child knows they are loved unconditionally and accepted and seen for who they are. We believe strongly in the value of education and also understand that everyone takes their own path in that particular journey. While we are excited to share our passions and our hobbies with our child, we also see it as our responsibility and privilege to pass along the values that we share: kindness, empathy, and engagement in our community.

I hope that this letter has given you a sense of who [His name] and I are and who we would be as parents. If you have specific questions, feel free to express those to Alena and we will do our best to answer them. Thank you again, for making the decision to donate your embryos and taking the time to consider if our family is the right fit for their future.

Sincerely,

[Her name] and [His name]