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10032024

&

Hobbies

Visiting with friends, Camping, Hiking, Photography, Listening to music, Taking care of people

Occupation

Photographer/Artist

Photographer/Artist

Relationship Status

Single Parent

Ethnicity

White/Caucasian

Religion

Spiritual but not religious

Type of Home

Apartment

Type of neighbourhood

City

10032024

First Name

10032024

Last Name

Country

United States

Address

Eye Color

Blue

Hair Color

Dark Brown

Height

5'8"

Education

Bachelor’s degree

Gender

Female

Smoking

No

Drinking

Social drinker

Hobbies

Visiting with friends, Camping, Hiking, Photography, Listening to music, Taking care of people

Age

42

CHILDREN DETAIL

Children

Do you have kids?

How many kids do you have?

Children

How old are they?

Do they live with you?

Tell us about your children. What do they like to do for fun?

PHOTOS

Photos

10032024

Fullname

10032024

LastName

Resident Country

United States

Address

Eye Color

Blue

Hair Color

Dark Brown

Height

5'8"

Ethnicity

White/Caucasian

Education

Bachelor’s degree

Hobbies

Visiting with friends, Camping, Hiking, Photography, Listening to music, Taking care of people

Religion

Spiritual but not religious

Occupation

Photographer/Artist

Type of home

Apartment

Type of Neighbourhood

Fullname

LastName

Resident Country

Address

Eye Color

Hair Color

Height

Ethnicity

Education

Hobbies

Religion

Occupation

Type of Home

Type of Neighbourhood

FAVOURITES

10032024

Actor

Animal or Pet

When I was in 2nd grade my parents surprised us with a labrador retreiver named Flyer. He was named Flyer because when he was a puppy he attempted to jump from a second floor landing to the first floor. He was the sweetest thing ever. He was with us until I was a senior in high school. We had a lot of good years with him - it is so hard to say goodbye to a pet when the time comes. I hope to have a puppy of my own someday.

Author

Bedtime story

Beverage / Drink

I enjoy my morning routine of getting up, letting the morning light in, and making my way to my coffee station to grind coffee beans. I don't know that coffee is my favorite beverage but I do love the experience it provides. And there is nothing like the smell of fresh ground coffee in the morning.

Book

Candy Bar

Childhood Memory

My mother, who was an elementary teacher, used to throw my sister and I the best birthday parties. They were always themed - cheerleading party (where she brought in seniors from the local high school to teach us cheers,) or a dress up party (where we all dressed up in our mother's clothes,) and so many more! One time she even turned our house into a giant board game (remember the game Clue?) and we played the game as if it were the real board game and all the kids who atteneded were the players. She always went above and beyond to make us feel special and loved. She always succeeded at that.

Color

My favorite color is blue and has been since I was little. I think it comes from being in nature - I adore the bright blue ocean. I also come from a long line of blue-eyed family members and maybe that has something to do with it too.

Dessert

My favorite dessert has to be chocolate cake with chocolate frosting or a fresh donut filled with chocolate. Apparently, I like chocolate.

Disney Movie

A red and black, 2-door Jeep Wrangler. My dad had one when we were growing up. My sister and I would climb in the front seats and pretend we were on a roadtrip or going to Grandmother’s house. We would even pack little suitcases. I have so many fond memories of driving around with the top down, singing songs from my dad’s college years, hair all tangled from the wind. One time he took the Jeep “off roading” by driving circles around our house - on the lawn! We were squealing with delight, my mom not so much. I think I pick the Wrangler because of the nostalgia it brings with it.

Car

Job

I am both currently living it and at the same time working towards it! I am a professional photographer and hold a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Photography. I have run my own company for 18+ years now. I knew at a young age I would be a photographer, I put in the work, got my degree and made that dream come true early on. I am also currently back in school working towards a second bachelor's degree in sonography with a specialty in pediatric and adult echo. During Covid my business was shut down for the year and I thought, now is as good a time as any to explore new opportunities. So I took a leap of faith, moved back home, and started working towards new professional goals. My business is still up and running, I am just adding a new type of "picture making" to the mix.

Family Activity

There are so many! But one from childhood stands out the most right now. As kids, after setting up our Christmas tree every year, my father would play a guessing game with us where he would describe an ornament one hint at a time on the tree and we would take turns having to go find it. He played these kind of games a lot with us, racing us to the car or quizzing us on who sang the song playing on the radio. We still play that last one to this day.

Restaurant

Flower

I used to have peony bushes lining one side of my house. I think they are the most beautiful and brilliantly colorful flower. I see them a lot in the wedding bouquets I photograph. Unfortunately peonies and ants go hand in hand and I wasn't able to keep them at the house for very long.

Fruit

I love avocados. On toast, on salads, on tacos, even by themselves. Just add a little salt and olive oil and it is perfection!

Hobby

No Data

No Data

Hobby

Hiking, traveling and photography are among my favorite hobbies. Honestly any outdoor adventure or spending time in new and inspiring places makes me happy. I am also most at home with my camera. My sister used to joke it is like my third hand - it is always on me. I enjoy capturing simple everyday moments and memories of family and friends.When I left for college my mother told me she filled in 200 nail holes in my bedroom where I had hung picture frames - it really was wall to wall, top to bottom covered in photographs for years. I never wanted to forget a moment.

Holiday

No Data

No Data

Holiday

My favorite holiday would have to be Christmas. We have this holiday tradition in my family where we draw names for our Christmas stockings. Then on Christmas Eve we pick a random store, decide on how much we can spend and we get only 20 minutes to go around and fill the stocking with gifts. We end the night watching White Christmas where my sister and I occasionlly act out and sing along to the "Sisters" scene. Christmas is such a special time, I never take that time together for granted.

Song

Anything by Sara Bareilles. Her lyrics hit just right and always seem to line up with the things going on in my life at the time. On roadtrips you will find my sister and I, and even my mom at times, scream-singing her songs.

Sport to play

I played both basketball and volleyball in high school and for one season in college. I was a starter in basketball my junior year when we won the state championship. Feels like a lifetime ago now but it was such a rewarding accomplishment. Sports taught me many life lessons I still carry with me today. My grandfather was a teacher and a coach his whole life so he was a great resource for us. He was the one out in driveway with us shooting free throws and running through practice drills. We always looked to him in the stands for advice when our game was a little off.

Favourites

Sport to watch

No Data

No Data

Sport to watch

I am a huge fan of our local NFL team. In fact all the women in my family are. It gets a little rowdy on game days if we are all together becaue of all the excitement. It is such a fun culture to be a part of. NFL Sundays, when our team is playing, we always make chili and italian beef sandwiches for halftime and spend time with my grandparents. It is so funny, when the game gets too intense my grandmother will have to leave the room. But then from the other room you will hear the radio playing - she will be listening to the game instead.

Traditions

Growing up, and until recently, my grandparents owned a timeshare on a golf course. Every summer for a week the extended family (great-grandparents to youngest great-grandchild) would gather there. We would swim, eat junk food, play card bingo, go to the water park, and almost every day we would golf. My grandparents had us all on the golf course at the age of 4! My grandfather would saw down his old clubs to fit us and off we would go to the driving range for practice. Now with my grandparents in their early 90’s that tradition has faded away. But recently my sister had a baby girl and we decided as a family we want to create that same kind of tradition for her and we have found a place to start making more family-centric memories.

Growing up, and until recently, my grandparents owned a timeshare on a golf course. Every summer for a week the extended family (great-grandparents to youngest great-grandchild) would gather there. We would swim, eat junk food, play card bingo, go to the water park, and almost every day we would golf. My grandparents had us all on the golf course at the age of 4! My grandfather would saw down his old clubs to fit us and off we would go to the driving range for practice. Now with my grandparents in their early 90’s that tradition has faded away. But recently my sister had a baby girl and we decided as a family we want to create that same kind of tradition for her and we have found a place to start making more family-centric memories.

Things to cook

TV show

Probably New Girl. When I am feeling a little under the weather I know I can put on any episode of this show and I will be laughing and feeling better in no time. Laughter is the best medicine after all.

Movie

Mostly I like the fantasy type movies - Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Marvel. I also enjoy a well done rom-com or an old timey musical.

FAVOURITES

10032024

Actor

Pet

When I was in 2nd grade my parents surprised us with a labrador retreiver named Flyer. He was named Flyer because when he was a puppy he attempted to jump from a second floor landing to the first floor. He was the sweetest thing ever. He was with us until I was a senior in high school. We had a lot of good years with him - it is so hard to say goodbye to a pet when the time comes. I hope to have a puppy of my own someday.

Arthur

Bedtime story

Beverage / Drink

I enjoy my morning routine of getting up, letting the morning light in, and making my way to my coffee station to grind coffee beans. I don't know that coffee is my favorite beverage but I do love the experience it provides. And there is nothing like the smell of fresh ground coffee in the morning.

Book

Candy Bar

Childhood Memory

My mother, who was an elementary teacher, used to throw my sister and I the best birthday parties. They were always themed - cheerleading party (where she brought in seniors from the local high school to teach us cheers,) or a dress up party (where we all dressed up in our mother's clothes,) and so many more! One time she even turned our house into a giant board game (remember the game Clue?) and we played the game as if it were the real board game and all the kids who atteneded were the players. She always went above and beyond to make us feel special and loved. She always succeeded at that.

Color

My favorite color is blue and has been since I was little. I think it comes from being in nature - I adore the bright blue ocean. I also come from a long line of blue-eyed family members and maybe that has something to do with it too.

Dessert

My favorite dessert has to be chocolate cake with chocolate frosting or a fresh donut filled with chocolate. Apparently, I like chocolate.

Disney Movie

A red and black, 2-door Jeep Wrangler. My dad had one when we were growing up. My sister and I would climb in the front seats and pretend we were on a roadtrip or going to Grandmother’s house. We would even pack little suitcases. I have so many fond memories of driving around with the top down, singing songs from my dad’s college years, hair all tangled from the wind. One time he took the Jeep “off roading” by driving circles around our house - on the lawn! We were squealing with delight, my mom not so much. I think I pick the Wrangler because of the nostalgia it brings with it.

Dream Car

Dream Job

I am both currently living it and at the same time working towards it! I am a professional photographer and hold a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Photography. I have run my own company for 18+ years now. I knew at a young age I would be a photographer, I put in the work, got my degree and made that dream come true early on. I am also currently back in school working towards a second bachelor's degree in sonography with a specialty in pediatric and adult echo. During Covid my business was shut down for the year and I thought, now is as good a time as any to explore new opportunities. So I took a leap of faith, moved back home, and started working towards new professional goals. My business is still up and running, I am just adding a new type of "picture making" to the mix.

Dream Vacation

My sister and I are 2 years and 4 days apart. Every year for 12 years now we have taken a trip together for our birthdays somewhere around the country or around the world. There are so many places I want to experience it is hard to pick just one but I have to say that I would love to get back to Italy someday. And if you don't find us overseas we are slowly working our way through the National Park System - we love to hike. Any vacation just spending time with my sister is a dream vacation.

Family Activity

There are so many! But one from childhood stands out the most right now. As kids, after setting up our Christmas tree every year, my father would play a guessing game with us where he would describe an ornament one hint at a time on the tree and we would take turns having to go find it. He played these kind of games a lot with us, racing us to the car or quizzing us on who sang the song playing on the radio. We still play that last one to this day.

Resturant

Flower

I used to have peony bushes lining one side of my house. I think they are the most beautiful and brilliantly colorful flower. I see them a lot in the wedding bouquets I photograph. Unfortunately peonies and ants go hand in hand and I wasn't able to keep them at the house for very long.

Fruit

I love avocados. On toast, on salads, on tacos, even by themselves. Just add a little salt and olive oil and it is perfection!

Hobby

Hiking, traveling and photography are among my favorite hobbies. Honestly any outdoor adventure or spending time in new and inspiring places makes me happy. I am also most at home with my camera. My sister used to joke it is like my third hand - it is always on me. I enjoy capturing simple everyday moments and memories of family and friends.When I left for college my mother told me she filled in 200 nail holes in my bedroom where I had hung picture frames - it really was wall to wall, top to bottom covered in photographs for years. I never wanted to forget a moment.

Holiday

My favorite holiday would have to be Christmas. We have this holiday tradition in my family where we draw names for our Christmas stockings. Then on Christmas Eve we pick a random store, decide on how much we can spend and we get only 20 minutes to go around and fill the stocking with gifts. We end the night watching White Christmas where my sister and I occasionlly act out and sing along to the "Sisters" scene. Christmas is such a special time, I never take that time together for granted.

Song

Anything by Sara Bareilles. Her lyrics hit just right and always seem to line up with the things going on in my life at the time. On roadtrips you will find my sister and I, and even my mom at times, scream-singing her songs.

Sport to play

I played both basketball and volleyball in high school and for one season in college. I was a starter in basketball my junior year when we won the state championship. Feels like a lifetime ago now but it was such a rewarding accomplishment. Sports taught me many life lessons I still carry with me today. My grandfather was a teacher and a coach his whole life so he was a great resource for us. He was the one out in driveway with us shooting free throws and running through practice drills. We always looked to him in the stands for advice when our game was a little off.

sport to Watch

I am a huge fan of our local NFL team. In fact all the women in my family are. It gets a little rowdy on game days if we are all together becaue of all the excitement. It is such a fun culture to be a part of. NFL Sundays, when our team is playing, we always make chili and italian beef sandwiches for halftime and spend time with my grandparents. It is so funny, when the game gets too intense my grandmother will have to leave the room. But then from the other room you will hear the radio playing - she will be listening to the game instead.

Things to cook:

Favorite Traditions

Growing up, and until recently, my grandparents owned a timeshare on a golf course. Every summer for a week the extended family (great-grandparents to youngest great-grandchild) would gather there. We would swim, eat junk food, play card bingo, go to the water park, and almost every day we would golf. My grandparents had us all on the golf course at the age of 4! My grandfather would saw down his old clubs to fit us and off we would go to the driving range for practice. Now with my grandparents in their early 90’s that tradition has faded away. But recently my sister had a baby girl and we decided as a family we want to create that same kind of tradition for her and we have found a place to start making more family-centric memories.

TV show

Probably New Girl. When I am feeling a little under the weather I know I can put on any episode of this show and I will be laughing and feeling better in no time. Laughter is the best medicine after all.

Movie

Mostly I like the fantasy type movies - Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Marvel. I also enjoy a well done rom-com or an old timey musical.

Actor

Pet

Arthur

Bedtime story

Beverage / Drink

Book

Candy Bar

Childhood Memory

Color

Dessert

Disney Movie

Dream Car

Dream Job

Dream Vacation

Family Activity

Resturant

Flower

Fruit

Hobby

Holiday

Song

Sport to play

sport to Watch

Things to cook:

Favorite Traditions

TV show

Letter

INTRO LETTER 

Dear donor family,

 

I want to take this opportunity to express my unending gratitude to you for restoring in me a sense of hope. After my own emotional journey of infertility, I am afraid I lost that emotion. Hope felt like a foreign concept after getting the news I was no longer able to have a genetic child of my own. A deep sadness took over, one I had yet to feel in my lifetime. The months following the news felt like an eternity and then a girlfriend of mine who had gone through her own infertility struggles mentioned embryo donation. This was life-changing and, oddly, felt like it had been my path all along. I don’t know how to describe the feeling exactly but deciding to move forward felt so natural and obvious and, after my first consult with Alena, I felt like I was somehow “home.” My dreams of having a child, of being a mother, resumed. It does not go unnoticed that this must have been a very emotional decision for you to make and I want you to know that I do not take it for granted. Grateful doesn’t seem like a powerful enough word to express what I feel but I want to thank you for your strength, grace, and courage.

 

I, myself, believe I carry those same traits. I started out as a shy child, scared to order pizza over the phone, to an adult who embodies an unwavering inner strength, a strong resolve, and a resiliency that I am extremely proud of. I am not afraid to take risks, I have faith that things happen for a reason, even if not always clear to us at the moment, and I find joy in all things, from the smallest experience to the biggest adventure. If you were to ask my family and friends, they would say I am smart, fun-loving, and brave. I am extremely sensitive and empathetic – both a strength and a weakness. I feel so deeply for others and their own experiences it can alter how I too am feeling. On the other hand, this sensitivity makes me relatable, a good listener, and a strong support system for those who need it. I have built my career and life around being extremely creative and passionate. I enjoy traveling and hiking and I always have a camera in hand. I grew up an athlete. In my spare time, I enjoy camping, and bowling, and can often be found on the golf course. I love the ocean and embrace winter. Laughter is always present. I am introverted by nature and draw my energy from within, but my profession has made me unexpectedly outgoing. I am very loyal to my close-knit circle of friends and above all things I value my family. They are my world.

 

I grew up in a small family, 12 of us including extended family, a long line of farmers and educators, full of beautiful traditions with an emphasis on quality time spent together. My parents (and my grandparents) are a shining example of unconditional love, both towards each other and for my sister and me. They were outwardly affectionate towards us and made it very clear, both verbally and with actions, that we were loved and that they were proud of us. They never missed a sporting event, they showed enthusiasm for all our ventures, and they taught us that you could achieve your goals with hard work and dedication. My parents believed we could be anything we wanted to be and were there to support us every step of the way. They had reasonably high expectations for us and yet we never felt pressured by them to meet them. We just did. They instilled in us a desire to be educated and to succeed but, at the same time, they always encouraged us to dream. When I turned 17 my parents sent me with a troupe to Europe; two weeks and 5 countries. They wanted my sister and me to recognize that the world was much bigger than the small town we were growing up in. They wanted us to have unique experiences outside the traditional adolescent experience. For me personally, it sparked a lifetime of curiosity, an adventurous nature, and a desire to always be learning new things. I find today that I am most inspired by new-to-me foods, cultures, art, and music.

 

My sister and I were born two years and four days apart. When I turned 30, we decided to start celebrating our birthdays together by taking a trip somewhere around the country or the world. Our relationship is the most special one in my life and our shared experiences are priceless. She is smart as a whip, a successful entrepreneur, and my go-to when I need to laugh until my stomach hurts or to “ugly cry” when I am sad. She is a safe place to share my thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism yet she is quick to put me in place when necessary. We learn and grow together and from each other. Our relationship was not always this way. In high school, it was challenging being the older sister. She was always around, a somewhat annoying, loud, extroverted little shadow. In many ways we are opposites. The minute I left for college; however, I knew I had taken our sisterly bond for granted and I spent a good many years making up for it. We have come a long way since then. She is my best friend.

 

My sister and her husband recently had a baby girl of their own. My parents’ first grandchild. She has made our lives immeasurably richer. I won’t go into too much detail here as I told many of these stories in the questionnaire I filled out for Alena but I do want to say that we are extremely excited to be building new family traditions for her. My sister and I have this dream of raising our children together, living in the same city, and continuing to set the example of a close-knit sibling-like friendship and the true meaning of family. If anything were to happen to me, she and her husband would not hesitate to raise and support my child. They are wonderful parents, much like my own, and I trust them with my whole being.

 

I mentioned above that my sister is an entrepreneur. She is not the only one. I too am an entrepreneur. I have had a long-standing career running a six-figure business of my own. I went to a private art college and shortly after opened a professional photography studio working in both the commercial and wedding industries. I am most passionate about the latter. As a child, my aunt would buy wedding magazines that I would peruse through most earnestly. It was only natural then as an adult that I found a way to marry my passion for weddings and photography. Nearly every weekend for 18 years now from the months of April to November I am surrounded by uninhibited joyfulness, excitement, and love. I feel so blessed to be the one capturing such special memories for families all over the country. With photography it isn’t just about recording the vows two people make to each other it is also about capturing all the small moments happening between guests. The mother who tears up, the grandparents on the dance floor, the laughter shared during speeches. It is such a rewarding profession and has given me such freedom to prioritize self-care, develop a strong work-life balance, and to give me a regular creative outlet. Running this company has been the gift of a lifetime so far.

 

Recently I have also returned to school. I am currently a student working towards a bachelor of science in diagnostic medical sonography with a specialty in adult and pediatric echocardiography. What a mouthful - and quite a long way from an art school degree. During the pandemic and lockdown, I was living on an island by myself, just getting out of a 10-year relationship, and turning 40. My business was shut down for a year. It seemed like a perfect time to take a leap of faith and begin a second career. I was inspired by all the healthcare workers during that time and felt a strong calling to add to my professional experience. I wanted to help others more deeply, give back to my community, and find greater purpose. I flipped my life inside out and upside down, and moved across the country back to my hometown where, after 10 years, I am minutes from my family once again. This change is a decision I do not regret. While there have been many moments in my life where I felt it was the right time to have a child, this feels like the most perfect. It feels like it was meant to be now more than ever. I am grateful to have the resources and stability to raise a child and I am at a place and time where I have a strong support system surrounding me. I have a community of the people I love most in the world ready to help guide me; to assist me in what it takes to be the parent I know I can be.

 

My best friend from grade school, my oldest friend, is currently the most amazing parent I know and an unbelievable and inspiring role model to me. She has three beautiful young ladies who have been an enormous part of my life for the last 17 years. When they were little I would take them first day of school outfit shopping, they would decorate my Christmas tree every year, and drink cocoa that we would sprinkle with gold glitter. We always do a goofy, over-the-top, photograph of us all every time I see them, piggyback rides, smushing our faces together, so many more. On occasion, we drive around the neighborhood in circles, windows down, blaring 80s music, and singing at the top of our lungs. I make sure to attend their sporting events cheering at their successes and secretly sneering at the refs when they make a bad call. We have slumber parties every other month, play games, sing and dance to Broadway musicals, trail walks surrounded by beautiful fall leaves, run through sprinklers, and once they traveled across the country to hike with me through a national park. They call me their second mom. They make me exponentially a better person and I would put my life on the line for them, and honestly for their mom too. There is a bond there I can’t describe. So much joy and laughter. I feel so lucky to have them in my life.

 

I am not delusional. I know that parenting will be the hardest and most demanding thing I will ever face. Despite all my life experience, my confidence, and my successes, I will not know what to do at every given moment, that being a single mother by choice will come with many additional challenges, and that I will be facing uncertainty and doubt on many occasions. I know parenthood will be humbling and scary. But I also know, beyond a doubt, that I am as prepared as I can be and more than ready to be a mother. I can promise you I will strive to be the best version of myself every second of every day for this child. To set the same strong examples that the generations before me have done. To cultivate an inspiring and optimistic environment. To show unconditional love, support, patience, encouragement, and affirmation. Not to be without discipline, when necessary, but to show empathy and compassion through it all. To help the development of a sense of humor. To nurture their desires and console them through life’s disappointments. Together we will work to have a joy-filled and adventurous life. We will try to not take any moment for granted and we will embrace new experiences and people with open hearts and minds. I will celebrate his/her accomplishments and be there for every milestone – first steps, first day of school, first job, etc. I promise to learn and grow alongside him/her. To prioritize quality time. I will cherish every hug, all the smiles, and their happiness will be my happiness. To say I would be the most blessed person in the world to have a child sounds cliché but deep down I know this to be true.

 

Warmly,


REFERENCE LETTER 1

Dear donor family,

 

When  [Her name] asked me to write a letter of recommendation for her, I’ll be honest…I felt honored but completely unqualified. I could share some of my favorite memories of our friendship over the last 19 years, but no matter how much I speak to her biggest and best traits, it’s like taking a picture of a sunset—the image can never quite capture the way the colors of the sky create a visceral experience that leaves you in awe when you try to take it all in.

 

Time spent with [Her name] is always an adventure. She has a thirst for life that leaves you wanting to see the world through her eyes. Her courage and willingness to try new things and take risks make her the strong and admirable person she is, and if she can inspire me to embrace life more fully when I’m in her midst, I can only imagine the profound effect she’ll have on the curious mind of a child. She encourages exploration—whether it’s falling in love with nature and appreciating growth in all its beautiful forms, or exploring the hearts and minds of every individual she meets; even helping them to see themselves in ways they’ve never imagined before. She just has a way adding color everywhere she’s present, breathing energy and life into everything and everyone she’s around.

[Her name] has never wavered from forging her own path and building a life toward everything that’s important to her. It’s part of the [Her name] essence—an intoxicating mixture of curiosity and dreaming big mixed with tenacity and discipline—that can leave you wondering how she’ll pull it all off, but never wonder if she will. She’s fiercely motivated yet unimaginably resilient, and I love the way she can balance her brave independence with her love of community. And I know she’ll apply those same principles toward motherhood.

 

Knowing four generations of her family (well, I’ll be meeting her new niece in person soon), I can see these are qualities that are passed down through the generations. Her parents’ deep, deep love for each other is palpable, and her grandparents’ roots in education were alive and well in the way they nurture their family and everyone in their presence with the utmost love and care, when I’ve gotten to spend time with them. My biggest hope is that her grandparents will still be alive to meet [Her name] baby someday. These bedrocks have instilled in their children and grandchildren a limitless sense of wonder, grace, accountability, pursuance, and laughter—oh, the sheer, pure laughter that ensues at a family gathering is something for the record books—and now [Her name] and her younger sister/best friend, L, get to pass down these family values together, side by side, to their own children. I feel like I’ve got a front row seat to witnessing one of my favorite families come full circle—two women I look up to and admire dearly, becoming an even fuller version of themselves as they begin exploring life in a whole new way as mothers.

 

I giggle to myself, picturing the first time [Her name] will have to clean up a baby’s butt after its first blow out! I also hold my breath in anticipation of her dealing with her baby’s first cry, first earache, first tooth, etc. She’ll feel their pain right along with them; that helpless feeling we have when we can’t wish away a baby’s pain with the blink of an eye. But mostly, I smile, knowing she’ll embrace every single second of all of it, and that she has the solid-as-a-rock family foundation (and me) to lean on, and that this baby will grow up surrounded by love. Her—your—baby, will be so unconditionally loved and encouraged, and I guess I just want to say thank you. I hope it’s a thank you for making [Her name] dream become reality and giving this deserving friend of mind a chance, but either way, thank you for considering new life.

 

Sincerely,


REFERENCE LETTER 2

Dear donor family,

 

It is with great pleasure that I tell you about my dearest, oldest friend [Her name], and why I

wholeheartedly recommend her as an exceptional candidate as the recipient of your

embryo donation. Let me share with you a few character traits, values, and the qualities

that make her an outstanding individual who is well-suited for the joys and

responsibilities of parenthood.

 

Our friendship spans over 3 decades, growing up in a loving community where

neighbors kindly watched over each other, everyone knew everyone, and countless

childhood hours were spent fawning over teen magazines, making homemade movies,

attending summer camps, and hundreds of Saturday night sleepovers. Our Dads both

traveled for work, which left an impression on both [Her name] and I, knowing there was a

bigger world beyond the safe confines of our tight knit community. It’s from this loving

launch pad that we both propelled ourselves into the world as ambitious college

students.

 

[Her name] is my pivot friend. I wasn’t aware of this term and its application to life until

hearing it explained a few years ago at my daughters’ school, where it’s taught as a life

skill. When one finds themselves in a stagnant, cyclical, unmotivating predicament, it’s

important to assess the situation, gather the tools to make a change, and pivot. [Her name]

first big pivot was transferring out of our state college where she found herself

unfulfilled and unmotivated, to finding an amazing opportunity to study photography and

play basketball across the country. With an open mind, incredible resourcefulness,

and responsibility, [Her name] has successfully pivoted numerous times throughout her

adult life and in really big ways. It's a skill that has brought her incredible opportunities,

connecting her to a network of new friends and colleagues. I admire her ability to boldly

step into new beginnings, something that takes confidence and courage…and she is SO

successful doing so. This life skill would make [Her name] a resilient, resourceful,

courageous mother. She gives 110% of herself to making all her tomorrows better.

 

In addition to her ability to pivot, [Her name] is a person of integrity and strong moral

character. [Her name] spent years living out of state and then ten years across the country. In both places, she always charismatically embraced her small town roots, never downplaying it’s charm. She genuinely is who she is, and walks with empathy, honesty and kindness. Through world travel, new adventures, social networks, and work environments, [Her name] always finds a way to make a new friend. I know that if presented with the opportunity to become a parent, [Her name] would nurture based on her strong moral character, with notes of grace (from her sophisticated Grandmother), humility (from her mother), and integrity (from her father), weaving a child into her strong support network.

 

[Her name] possesses a remarkable blend of warmth, compassion, and patience. I am a

mother to three incredible daughters, and [Her name] has cultivated a unique bond with each

of them individually. Her connection with the girls is built on her sincere curiosity to

check in with them, deeper than ‘how are you doing’, but rather ‘tell me your thoughts’

and ‘I’m here to listen’. It’s heartwarming to see my own childhood friend bond with my

daughters on such an intimate level. She has a way of opening their hearts and their

minds and allowing them to freely share their thoughts without judgment. Of course we

both offer our own antidotes when troubleshooting with the girls when they find

themselves struggling with friends or school, and we often reference our own childhood,

remembering back to our own similar trials and tribulations. While I sometimes find

myself wanting to shape an outcome for my children, [Her name] has a way of presenting

solutions based on free will, empowerment and empathy…she’s already winning at

parenting! My children are blessed to have her guidance, love and attention.

 

When I picture what home is for [Her name] and a child, I see bright warm light, dancing with

zero inhibition, singing along to musicals, creativity, exploration and learning, traditions,

movie nights, pizza nights, game nights. Meals made together, organized chaos from

time to time, visits to grandparents and family (and me). Playtime, and friend time, and

quiet time, and Harry Potter, and trips to zoos and museums, and plane rides and walks

to the park. With tears wiped away, and sickness to cure, and hugs of comfort. All

capped off with an “I love you” every night.

 

I am confident that [Her name] will approach motherhood with the same passion, dedication,

and enthusiasm that she brings to every aspect of her life. There is no doubt in my mind

that she would be an excellent mother.

 

Sincerely,


REFERENCE LETTER 3

I’ve known my sister, well, for my entire life. We have gone through A LOT together.  However, there was one moment I wanted to focus on for this letter specifically. When [Her name] turned nine and I turned seven, my parents told us that we were moving across country, leaving our first home behind.  I remember sitting on the living room sofa of our house crying my eyes out next to her. We didn’t know what moving meant but we also knew we didn’t want to leave. Upon reflection, this pivot in our family’s journey was the moment my sister and my relationship started to take shape.Sincerely,


Dear donor family,

 

I am writing this reference letter to wholeheartedly support my sister, [Her name] steadfast desire and capacity to become an adoptive mother.

Our early childhood feels like a movie script now. [Her name] and I were part of an inseparable crew of similar-aged kids who all lived at the end of the same cul-de-sac and played ‘ghost in the graveyard’ until our parents all called us home. When we arrived out east, we were the only two kids in our newly built neighborhood. The drastic shift created a need for both of us. We had to learn how to entertain ourselves and each other. We expanded our imaginations and interests together. We learned how to appreciate our similarities and differences. We learned how to become best friends, not just siblings. We built the scaffolding of trust, honesty, respect, and comfort that underpins our relationship today. It IS special. Everyone says so. And we don’t take one moment of it for granted.

 

My sister has always been unapologetically herself.  She loves BIG and feels things deeply. She feeds her curiosity and creativity regularly. She is a life-long learner. She is loyal to a fault. She exercises her free spirit regularly but never at the expense of her stability.  She works hard and when she puts her mind to something she does it. She doesn’t shy away from hard things. She creates and invites others into her rituals and traditions. She understands when to ask for help. She knows how to navigate and cultivate the life she wants.

 

When I think about [Her name] as a mother, I know without a doubt, she will put all of her skills to work for the benefit of a little one. Making the world a magical place for a child is in her blood, in her spirit, and her soul. She values family differently than most and creating her own is a longstanding dream. One that came true for me last year.  My husband and I continued the family tradition and welcomed a daughter, M, into our family. The first grandchild, and for [Her name], her first niece.

 

M is a gift to me in so many ways, but an unexpected one is getting to watch [Her name] with a newborn. I have had the chance to watch my sister with her friend's kids from afar over the years.  I have always known she can speak child in a way I cannot. But to get to see her up close and personal with my daughter is extraordinary. My sister told me that she was going to come once a month to visit, even though she is currently in school working towards her B.S. in diagnostic medical sonography, running a company and lives 4.5 hours away. She hasn’t missed a month.

 

When [Her name] is with us she leans into being an auntie. She wants M to know and to feel how important she is to her.  She brings the silly to mundane afternoons at home. She always brings the camera so we don’t miss the milestones that happen when we are together. She does bath time and bedtime when Mom and Dad need a night out. She reads, cuddles, dances, and calms so naturally. I am grateful for every single day M gets to spend with her aunt. [Her name] is an invaluable,  irreplaceable part of her village and I can’t wait to watch their relationship grow.

 

Over the years I have had the opportunity to support my sister in a myriad of ways, but never with something she has wanted this deeply. When I think about the possibility of [Her name] joining me on a motherhood journey, I get a little choked up. First, and for selfish reasons, I am not going to have another child, and yet my experience as a sibling is one I wish for M. One I know could become the relationship she has with my sister’s child.  But second, and more importantly, my sister has the courage it takes to become a single mother by choice. And in my experience, that is what it takes. Courage. Courage to know you won’t have all the answers but are going to try anyway. Courage to be responsible for someone else’s life and to relinquish control. Courage to experience motherhood in any and every way it is offered.

 

My sister embodies the courage to live fully in every single moment, no matter what happens. I have complete confidence that [Her name] will be the parent this child needs and will work every day to create an environment where they can dream, explore, fail, and love BIG. And this environment extends to my home and my family. It is a responsibility we don’t take lightly. This letter is just the first of many ways my family and I will be there for her and this little one when they need us if given the chance.




 

Dear donor family,

 

At first, I wondered if I would be considered a biased reference for my eldest daughter in her desire to become an adoptive mother. But then thought…who can better speak to the childhood, environment, and influences that shaped her into the exceptional woman she is today.

 

My daughter has a myriad of traits and characteristics I could, and will, speak to; however, I think the best picture I can paint for you is through the perspective of family. She was welcomed into this world after 24 hours of labor. Our first daughter, her paternal grandparents first grandchild, her maternal grandparents first granddaughter, and her three aunts’ first niece. The excitement of her birth interrupted business meetings and sales’ pitches, triggered early work departures and skipping classes, prompted hour-long drives across the U.S. to meet her, and introduced her father and me to a love that took our breath away. She has asked me to be an ear, shoulder, and voice throughout her complex fertility journey, so I know how important this opportunity - the wonder of welcoming a child into her life - is to my daughter.

 

Our family’s core values including trustworthiness, accountability, diligence, compassion, gratitude, curiosity, and joyfulness were not only taught but modeled by us and extended family members throughout the years. Rules were outlined, boundaries were clearly set, and an environment for open discussion about both was created. Risk-taking was balanced with responsibility, resourcefulness was meshed with stability, and individuality was correlated with the collective good. Active listening, mutual appreciation, and unconditional love was at the foundation of it all. Although my daughter’s interpretation and acceptance of these values hasn’t always been 100%, as any parent can attest to, she has beautifully blended and created a personal version of them that I am extremely proud of. It will provide her a solid footing in becoming the mother she wants to be and in raising a child that will never question being loved.

 

In the early years, our eldest’s personality seemed to be in direct contrast to that of her sibling. She was introverted, shy, and loved playing with dolls while her sister was extroverted, loud, and adventurous. Their variety in interests, indulgences, behaviors, and relationships was difficult at times but more importantly expanded their viewpoints, principles, understandings, and interactions with the bigger world influencing who they were to become together and independently. Although they are still very different, both my daughters are capable, strong, independent women and the bond they have developed is one to admire. It is built on trust, openness, reciprocal respect, and a friendship that will last a lifetime. To think my youngest daughter’s 9 month old little girl (whose aunt never misses a chance to spend time with her niece) and the prospect of my oldest daughter’s child observing and learning the meaning of family from this relationship, cultivated over a lifetime, warms my heart.

 

My eldest’s middle years and early adulthood were and are continuing to be filled with varied life experiences, travels, successes, failures, and self-discovery. She had our permission to travel abroad with an organized group of high schoolers and our blessing to attend a college far from home to pursue her passions, curiosities, and wanderlust. She worked for others before starting her own successful photography business which not only survived but prospered through two moves. When adversity hit her business via the pandemic, she reconsidered her future. She hired an associate to photograph events she was unable to commit to and returned to school to become a sonographer…a profession that could offer her the stability, permanence, and benefits that she could not get from photography alone and would need if she was going to start a family. Her courage, determination, tenacity, and foresight in the face of uncertainty was notable.

 

My daughter’s future is bright and full of possibilities. If the possibility of a child becomes reality, thank you for the part you played in that gift. A baby will flourish in my daughter’s home; one filled with music, art, laughter, and sunshine. S/he will be loved and guided with the passion, creativity, intellect, commitment, and joy that my eldest child brings to everything and everyone she touches. And last, but not least, my daughter’s community of family and friends will welcome a child with open arms, unconditional love, and unending support.

 

Sincerely,


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