We weren’t looking for each other when we met randomly at a folk music festival on a hot Sunday in August 2019. Our first date was spent hiking at a state park located between the city I was living in, and his rural locale. We discussed the fact that he'd had a vasectomy performed after the birth of his 2nd daughter in 2008. I was disappointed, but we decided we could make it work. I met his 2 daughters shortly after, and admired the way he loved them and was always there for them. Truthfully, witnessing their relationship increased my desire to have a child with him - even though we were stepping into unknown odds that it could actually happen for us. We married in October 2021. After 1.5 years, we selected a doctor who performs vasectomy reversals exclusively and travelled to have the surgery performed. We were incredibly hopeful that the reversal would be successful. One month after the surgery, his semen analysis showed that it worked, but his sperm count and motility were low. The doctor believed that it would improve, but advised we preserve sperm for future IVF. We were stunned & determined to try naturally. After our investment, it didn’t seem possible to pursue IVF. Fast forward trying to conceive for one year, I visited my gynecologist and learned I had a large polyp located where implantation would occur, along with the news that there was no sperm present in his latest analysis. It was a defeating day.

 

So began the next chapter of our journey when I began considering traditional adoption. I spoke to a woman from our church who had fostered her daughter as a newborn and eventually adopted. I watched The Sound of Hope and felt encouraged. I joined an alliance in our state that works to bridge the needs between caseworkers, children in the foster care system, and families that foster and/or adopt. I started a ministry in my own life to become aware of the needs of vulnerable children and families, and find the ways that I can help. I'm grateful for this part of our journey, and continue to seek mentorship opportunities. I'm excited to be involved in a nationwide project that teaches foster kids to fly fish!

 

I joined an infertility support group at our church about one year ago. There were two other participants - both of whom have had successful pregnancies to date as a result of IVF! The host described how the future of her frozen embryos weighed heavily on her. I was researching adoption grants at the time, and veered into the topic of embryo donation & adoption. Hearing my friend's story, and realizing that I could have the chance to be pregnant, bond with the baby, and control the environment in which it will develop gave me a new perspective - I finally felt hope again! I'd consulted with a clinic that suggested utilizing a sperm donor since all of my testing results were good, but hadn't felt peace about it. From a practical perspective, the odds of conception for a woman my age using IUI aren't great either. Ultimately, I realized that the best outcome is to have a healthy pregnancy and child; but my husband and I have a unique situation with our age gap of 15 years also. My mother and father were both older when I was born, and My husband's parents are also in their 70s. Thankfully everyone is healthy at this juncture, but just as I was born into an older family, our future child will be also. It's comforting to know that they may be able to connect with their biological family and have siblings and cousins closer to their age. We've consulted with several embryo donation agencies, but decided to work with Embryo Solution because of Alena's guidance and thoroughness.

 

We live in a beautiful area of the country on a family property where My husband was born and raised. His parents live across the pond from our house. Both he and his daughters have memories of running back-and-forth to their grandparents' houses while growing up. The master bedroom is in the loft of our open-concept home, with an office/nursery downstairs. The girls' room is an attached renovated addition atop our garage with a walk-in closet. It'll remain theirs until they're through college and have their own places. We're nestled in a biodiverse area of trees and foothills, small family farms, and access to good healthcare and cities. Our school district is quaint; with reputable high school program tracks focused on medical, STEM, and agriculture. Their music program is fantastic, and the local fair is still volunteer-run and true to tradition: tractor pulls, produce and flower judging, animal showings, local businesses booths, kids' music programs, and homemade food that we look forward to eating!

 

We're part of a great church that feels nearly like family. We go to a smaller rural campus, but a larger campus exists in the nearby city. My husband plays on the worship team, and I volunteer with the 4th-6th grade class on Sunday mornings. My husband's extended family lives nearby so we celebrate holidays with them. His sister hosts Thanksgiving, his aunt hosts Christmas Eve, we go to our cousin's for Christmas Day, his parents for Easter, we host Memorial Day, our neighbors have a stellar fireworks display for July 4th. One of the things we prioritize is our Sunday gatherings. We have lunch with My husband's parents, and his sister & her family nearly every week. My husband often grills or smokes meat... you're hard pressed to find a better meal anywhere else. We frequently cook enough protein to have meals for the week to accommodate our weeknight schedules which involve hiking with the dog, working out at home, and prepping for the next day. Of course, when it's swim season in the winter, spring, and summertime, we have plenty to do, though those responsibilities have lessened since the girls are older and driving.

 

We have a wonderfully joyful chocolate lab named Oakley. He's 3-YO, and still acts like a puppy with his playful antics and big heart. I get home earlier than my husband, so I take him hiking or to the dog park in nearly every weather condition. I look forward to incorporating a child into this daily ritual. While my job requires me to travel amongst a couple counties, I'm home every night, it's generally low stress, and never requires weekend work. My husband's job is similar, though he travels 5-min. to the nearby town where his office is located. He comes home for lunch every day. We both need to continue working, but hope that someday only one of us will be required to do so.

 

I grew up travelling a couple hours to see my dad every other weekend, and eventually for holidays and summers when he moved south. With 20 and 15-year age gaps between my siblings and me, I welcomed my first nephew when I was 8-YO. One niece and 3 nephews live in a southern state where my father, stepmom, sister, and brother-in-law are also located. My mother, brother, sister-in-law and their 3 nearly grown children live in a midwestern state. My stepsiblings and their kids also live there. Most of my vacations are spent going to one state or the other to spend time with family, though my sister, mom & I have started meeting in different locations for girls' trips every few years. My parents visit at least annually. We stay connected through technology regularly. We realize how precious family is, and always cherish our time together.

 

Both my husband and I live rooted lives. We enjoy serving our families and the community we live in. We've both taken time to travel in our younger years, however. My husband served in the U.S. Navy with tours around the world, and I was an exchange student to Finland and Turkey, and spent time in India also. Whilst travel and adventure have helped shape us, we don't often go on trips together with the responsibilities we have taking care of a decently sized property. We look forward to watching our youngest daughter swim at a neighboring state's college for the next four years. I've marveled at how many people come back to our small community after leaving for college, work, etc. It truly is a special place with lots of history and a sense of belonging with the land. We work to preserve our little bit of it and leave it better for the next generation by planting trees and gardening. We love growing hot peppers, and tomatoes are a must. I aspire to have a flower garden someday, and have been planting perennials. Fresh produce is available from nearby farmers and backyard gardeners, and there's a circuit of seasonal ice cream shops we visit in the summer! It's a magical place to reside, and grow up, and we'd be delighted to raise another generation here.