June 30, 2024

 

Dear Embryo Donors,

 

First off, I want to say how grateful I am for the opportunity to have a baby with a donated embryo. When I recently learned that it is possible to create a family this way, I immediately felt that it was the right option for me. Thank you so much for donating your embryos - it is truly a gift!

 

It always felt clear to me that I would have a child. I have worked with children in different capacities beginning in high school, as a volunteer in college and throughout most of my career. In my early 20s, I started reading parenting articles and have always taken an interest in child development and social-emotional learning, especially in my former job as a school-based therapist.

 

Like many people, I have had a long and difficult fertility journey. At 35, I proactively took steps to have a child by freezing my eggs. I even went to Medellin, Colombia to do this since it was ⅓ of the cost. The clinic retrieved 9 eggs and I returned to the US with a sense of relief that I had time to meet a partner and start my family.

 

Five years later, I moved back to my hometown when COVID started and serendipitously met my partner in my childhood neighborhood. We quickly started trying to conceive and got pregnant in 2021, but we had a miscarriage. I was sad but I wasn’t too worried because I had my frozen eggs as a backup plan. But when I had the eggs shipped to my fertility clinic in 2022, none of them resulted in a pregnancy (only 2 survived the thaw). I was shocked and emotionally distraught.

 

We continued trying to conceive and in the spring of 2023, I got pregnant again (this time through IVF) but I had a second miscarriage. This second miscarriage was particularly crushing because I got COVID in the early stage of pregnancy; I will never know if COVID caused the miscarriage. To add to the pain, my relationship was not doing well and my partner and I broke up in the summer of 2023.

 

I entered therapy and joined a support group to help me grieve the miscarriages and the loss of my relationship. I also spent considerable time reevaluating my desire to become a parent and concluded that I still wanted to have a baby, even as a single parent.

 

My life is well set up for a child. I own a charming, light-filled three bedroom bungalow with a yard in a quiet, residential neighborhood. I’m also in a financially stable place in my career where I can make time for parenthood. I work from home, set my own hours and have flexibility to take time off when needed. After maternity leave, I plan to continue to work remotely and hire a babysitter at home so I can be available for my child as much as possible.

 

I have a support system who are all excited to welcome a baby into our community. Even though my parents are divorced, we have always done activities and spent holidays together - my parents, siblings and my parent’s partners. My aunts, uncles and cousins in the area will be delighted to welcome a new child into the family. I also have a large network of friends close by, some going back to my childhood and some newer friendships since I moved home. They are all down-to-earth people who enjoy community activities and children.

 

My mother and I have had extensive conversations about the kind of support I will need and she plans to be my primary support person, especially for the first year of the child’s life. We may even live together or buy a two-family home. My father and stepmother will also provide hands-on support, as well as my two siblings and close friends in the area. My father has generously offered to help pay for childcare.

 

I'm excited to do so many things with my child - provide a fun and loving environment, expose them to different kinds of food to see what they like, spend time in nature, read together, go to the beach, play with them, encourage their unique gifts and interests and raise them with love, care and guidance. It's going to be the adventure of a lifetime and I couldn't be more excited.

 

After a long fertility journey, deep soul-searching and many conversations with friends and family, I feel prepared to become a parent (as much as anyone can!) and I sincerely hope you will consider me for your embryos.

 

Warmly,