It's nice to "meet" you!

[His name], according to [Her name]: The first thing I usually say about [His name], is simply that he is the nicest person I’ve ever met. And while that might seem like a rather vanilla compliment about the love of my life, it encompasses all of the qualities I love most about him: he is dependable, kind, thoughtful and generous. He thinks about others and always puts their needs above his own. He is hard working, smart and caring. Our first date was a night we replay often, talking about how easy it was to be together, that rare connection where you feel safe and accepted right from the start. [His name's] love has changed my life entirely. He makes me feel seen and appreciated; he anticipates things and gives me the space to think, feel and process. My entire family and friend group also immediately felt drawn to him. He is easy to get along with, fun loving and a wealth of knowledge (about both real and trivial things, no matter which way the conversation may turn!). I am so blessed to have a partner who sees our marriage as that: a partnership, where we love and support each other. He is my best friend and confidant. I have never had more fun in any relationship than I do with [His name]. Our sense of humor, shared favorite shows and movies and love of games always keeps things interesting and exciting. He has opened my world to new music and experiences. Despite experiencing difficult times throughout our relationship, we can find humor, laughter and love as a way to process what we are going through together. He is passionate and curious about all kinds of things and we love exploring new interests together. [His name] took me to his niece’s birthday party on our third date. I met his entire family and extended church family in one day, an experience that would normally terrify and intimidate me. However, it was such an easy day; they are all wonderful people who just want the best for him and were excited to see our new relationship and how happy it made us both. I love his family and the time we get to spend together; they are an extension of him, equally loving, fun and caring. Being together has felt natural from the start. One of the things we bonded over was our shared faith and goals for the future: we both wanted marriage and a family. It has been heartbreaking that I can’t give him children in the way we imagined. Watching him as an uncle and Godfather confirmed how wonderful he is with children and makes it easy to imagine what a wonderful father he will be. His strength, love and silliness make him a natural with children. [His name] is a talented musician and shares those gifts generously. He participates in his college alumni pep band and the music program at church. He is a yes person. He says yes his family, friends and the needs of others. When he sees an item listed on the homeless shelter message board, he quietly stops to drop off a case of Ramen or paper towels. He has been contributing to college funds for his nieces and nephews since they were born. He is thankful for the gifts and blessings in his life and responds to the call to give back. I will never know how I got so lucky to meet [His name] and fall in love with him. He is the best person I know, the most fun person I know. He is, the nicest person I know. I’m so thankful he chose me.

According to [His name], [Her name] is one of the most interesting persons he has ever met. She has an amazing passion that is unmatched regardless of the role she is playing: wife, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, friend, teacher. I know I can always count on her love and attention to our relationship, and it is evident others feel the same way about her. We share a similar affinity for sometimes off-key humor, but never with the intent to explicitly hurt one another or someone else, and I can honestly say it is so much fun to be married to her. One of the things I love to hear is when other family members or friends comment on how much fun it looks like we’re having with each other. What’s great about it is it’s all genuine; we don’t have to put on an act when we’re in public or with other people. Watching [Her name] be a first grade teacher is really special. She cares so much for her kids and really takes pride in their achievements (especially watching them learn to read) and shares in their frustrations when things don’t go so well. Her classroom is bright and colorful and fun, and she never runs out of ideas to engage them. I’ve never heard so many spontaneously generated lyrics to such standards as Twinkle, Twinkle or Row Your Boat. It’s too bad her first graders can’t truly appreciate how gifted she is as an educator yet (though plenty of parents do), but I know they’ll look back fondly some day at being in her class. She likewise channels that loving educator energy and passion into cultivating our nieces and nephews, and I cannot wait to see that evidenced in her motherhood. But, fear not, there is plenty of room for fun and games as well, whether at big family gatherings or sleepovers with just one niece or nephew at a time. [Her name] has a beautiful singing voice and loves to share her talents whether in her women’s barbershop chorus, at church, at school, with family and friends, or just at home with the two of us. One of the most important things about her is how much she cares: for me, for her family and friends, for her students, for strangers. She felt called to go to Haiti on a couple of Soles for Souls mission trips, and was so moved by what she saw and experienced, she decided to resign from a successful career in higher education fundraising to move there for the better part of three and a half years, where she not only helped start a school and teach, but also helped form a non-profit corporation in the United States with the single purpose of helping this school. Today, two to three hundred children attend that school in grades kindergarten through eighth; they receive free uniforms and school supplies, as well as free lunch every day.

Our background/families

We were both blessed to grow up in strong nuclear families, with loving parents in strong marriages. [His name] is the oldest of three children and [Her name] is the youngest of three children. When looking back on our childhoods, we shared similar experiences: our mothers stayed home with us while we were young and thankfully our fathers had good, stable jobs allowing us to get by on one income. Having one parent home throughout our childhoods gave us stability, strong relationships and a focus on family life. We ate dinner together each night around the table, sharing our day’s experiences. We spent summer vacations taking trips where the highlight was usually the hotel pool! Our dads were the coaches for soccer and Little League, never letting on how hard it was to find the time after working all week. In high school, [His name's] parents were the ultimate band boosters throughout his marching band career and [Her name's] filled in at every debate tournament and costume fitting for plays and show choir. Watching this selfless commitment to family has shown us the most important ways to spend our time: pouring into those we love and making simple memories the most meaningful. Our families both raised us in the church, committing to more than just mass on Sunday, with roles in the faith formation, choir, men’s club, parish committee and even mowing the lawn for the rectory. We saw our parents take faith seriously, committing their time, talent and treasure to our parishes. This is the life we envision for ourselves and our children: a simple life of love, commitment and faith.

Our Path to Parenthood

We talked about our shared desire for a family on our second date and felt bonded over how strongly we both wanted this step in our lives. We began trying for a baby as soon as we got married, five and a half years ago. After not succeeding on our own, we started to see a specialist. We went through the typical battery of tests and found we both faced challenges, meaning IVF was the recommended course of action. We did three rounds of IVF while navigating other health issues. Our first round was canceled due to questionable cells from an ovarian cyst, which resulted in the loss of the ovary and tube, but thankfully wasn’t cancerous. The only embryo created in our second cycle stopped growing the morning of our transfer. Our third cycle resulted in a miscarriage at eight weeks. The combination of the emotional, physical and financial toll of fertility treatments has brought us to embryo adoption.

Our jobs and life together

[His name] is a pharmacist and [Her name] is a first grade teacher.

We love doing many different things together. Some of our favorite things are simply spending time with family. Thankfully many members of our extended family live within a close radius and we get to spend times other than major holidays together. We love to host family at our house for dinner, games or the Superbowl. A favorite tradition has become our sleepovers with one niece or nephew at a time, planning fun outings, shopping in a “store” in our basement and playing on the swing set in our backyard. We long for the day our children can join in on these family events: reading stories, doing puzzles, going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for dinner or a family birthday. We love to travel and look forward to sharing our trips with children. We enjoy hiking and walking trails in our area, enjoying being outside and the beauty of nature. We love to play board games and card games and look forward to integrating Chutes and Ladders and Paw Patrol Memory games into our current rotation!

We long to be parents and fill our home with the sights and sounds of our children. Our wedding song was “I Was Doin Alright” by Louis Armstrong. [His name] introduced this song to [Her name] and shared how it conveyed his sentiment about meeting her: we were both fully formed and happy individuals before meeting. But it got so much better when we met, fell in love and got married. We are a happy, albeit small, family. We love each other and the life we create together each day. We are doing alright, but the gift of children will no doubt catapult us into the realm of doing better than ever before!

I was doing alright,

Nothing but rainbows in my sky,

I was doing alright

Till you came by!

Had no cause to complain,

Life was as sweet as apple pie,

Never noticed the rain

Till you came by!

But now, whenever you're away,

Can't sleep nights and I suffer all the day;

I just sit and wonder

If love isn't one big blunder!

But when you're holding me tight,

Tingling all through, I feel somehow

I was doing alright,

But I'm doing better than ever now!