They say if you want to tell a story you need to start from the beginning.

 

To the family who is reading my story, I would like to say thank you for considering me to adopt your precious embryos. Myname is [Her name], and I am 39 years old. I was born to the best parents anyone could ever have. My parents were married in 1974, when my dad was 43 years old, and my mom was 22. People frowned upon their age difference, but they proved love conquers all. My parents will be married for 48 years this coming January. My parents had my brother shortly after and I was born 8 years later. My dad was married twice before and had 4 children from his previous marriages. Although sometimes it seems uncommon, I am very close with my half-siblings, and we all grew up together.

 

I honestly have nothing bad to say about my childhood, it was perfect. Families are not always perfect, but I thought mine was. I was equally close to both my parents. My dad was older when I was born and retired at 65 which left him a lot of time to spend with me. He owned a construction company but then moved on to doing construction management part-time. He would pick me up from school and I would help him cook dinner and set the table. My mom worked for a large insurance company as the head of their Legal Nurse Consulting Program. My dad took over the role of homemaker for many years. Almost every weeknight we would have a sit-down dinner at home and talk about our days, how school/work was and just enjoy each other. This was very important to my parents to have family dinners and is still true to this day. My mother’s mother lived with us until she died at 100 years old. My family also took care of her siblings (my great aunt/uncles). My two great aunts did not have children and we spent a lot of time taking care of them. They lived until 104 and 101 years old! I learned from a young age to respect your elders and also learned responsibility of taking care of someone else who needed me.

 

Each Sunday we would all go to our favorite pizza place in the city and get pizza and play on the jukebox. We always had to play “Love Shack” for my mom. When my grandmother was still alive, she would come too. Since my half-siblings were older, they would also come but now with their children. Every summer we would spend 2-3 weeks at my parents’ beach-front property in Cape Cod. My dad had built the house in the 60’s. To this day, my mother, sister and I still go the Cape and we love the beach. I hope to be able to take my child to the Cape and do all of the activities I loved to do as a child, like snorkeling, clamming, and playing mini golf. My parents still live in the same home that I grew up in. We were lucky to have an in-ground pool and in the summer you could find me there! All of my friends would come over and every weekend my parents have cookouts with all of our family and friends. On some days, there are 30-40 people at the cookouts.

 

My parents always hosted for the holidays. My mom cooks a “Polish Easter”. We make Polish Easter Bread, my great grandmother’s recipe. To this day, my mom and I still decorate easter eggs. My brother has taken over cooking for Thanksgiving and my sister now hosts Christmas Eve (with about 50 people!). My mom still cooks for Christmas, and I make my grandmother’s eggplant parmesan recipe. We also bake and decorate a ton of Christmas cookies, with the help of my step-daughter (more to come on her!). Christmas is my favorite holiday, I love the spirit of Christmas. In my home, I have two Christmas trees each year. One of the trees is artificial and is about 30 years old and the other I buy a real tree. I also love sending Christmas cards to all my family and friends as well as our troops overseas. I send about 500 cards each year.

I started dancing when I was 3 years old. My mom enrolled me in a studio that was walking distance near our house. Little did we know that studio would become a huge part of my life. I dance competitively until I was 22 years old and traveled all around the country in my teens through early adulthood. I attended Dance Teacher’s Training for 3 years and became an instructor. I currently teach two tap classes to the Junior and Senior classes where I grew up dancing! The studio is like my second family. I looked up to my two dance teachers my whole life, they were my mentors. I am now blessed to be a mentor to other young teens and women at the studio.

 

When I was 15 years old, I had to perform community service hours to make my Confirmation with my church. I was able to volunteer at a homeless shelter for battered women and their children in my city. It’s a home that shelters four families at a time and they were allowed to stay there for one year while they got back on their feet, find jobs and move into permanent housing. When I first started, I would be in charge of babysitting some of the children while the families had their meetings with the social workers. I am proud to say that I still volunteer at this same shelter. I currently assist mothers with applying for jobs, creating resumes, practicing their writing and verbal skills for interviews, assisting children with homework and anything else the families need. I still receive Christmas cards from families that used to be at the shelter 15-20 years ago. It means a lot to me that over the years I have made an impact on someone’s life, and I will continue to do so. Also, for the past two years, I volunteer with DCF (Department of Children and Families) as a Foster Care Reviewer. Once a week I attend a foster care review to see how a child is doing in foster care and providing any feedback on the matter.

 

In addition to dance, I also competed in scholarship pageants. I started when I was in high school and also competed as an adult with my stepdaughter. I have won dozens of titles of the course of my “pageant career”, including a very large state title in 2004 where I went to compete at the national pageant in [State]. I earned scholarships for college and as I got older, I won scholarships for my volunteer work and platform, which was to help women who were victims of domestic violence. The money I won would be put back into the shelter I volunteered at to get necessities for the women such as clothes, everyday essentials, bus passes, technology, and anything for their children. Competing in pageants has taught me poise, confidence, public speaking and other lifelong lessons. I also have life-long friends around the country that I have made by meeting them through pageants. There is a few of us that still get together once a year at someone’s hometown.

 

Since dancing was mostly my life growing up, I was not involved in any school activities. I graduated from high school with honors and attended my first year of college that fall. I attended a two-year private college where I majored in Criminal Justice with a minor in Legal Studies. I graduated third in my class and continued my education at a university. I had to take a year off as my dad got sick (tumor on his kidney which they removed but he recovered). During my Senior year of college, I was one of four students chosen in the Criminal Justice program to be a part of a new pilot program at a local police station to examine new technologies and analyze crime patterns to develop crime prevention strategies. I then graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice with a minor in Legal Studies. My career goal was to become a police officer. Unfortunately, I graduated during the worst time for anyone’s career – the year 2008.

 

I was lucky enough to be able to land my first post-college grad position at the District Attorney’s Office. I started off as an admin in the Juvenile Unit department. Over the years, I worked my way up to the Homicide Unit where I trained under the supervision of a retired homicide detective. While I was at the DA’s office, I received an award for exceptional service for the DA’s office and the community. When I left the DA’s office, I obtained my Private Investigator’s license and joined a firm that concentrated on Maritime Law and Transportation Litigation. One of our clients was one of the biggest railroads in the country and I would be in charge of investigating claims. Unfortunately, that firm dissolved earlier this year and I started a new position as a Legal Assistant/Paralegal/Investigator at another firm this past July. It was hard to move on from a firm and attorneys that I worked with for 13 years. I also work per diem for another law firm doing investigative and paralegal work. I do consider myself extremely bright and smart and I have had a successful career thus far.

 

I was married for a short time (I was with my ex-husband for a long period before we got married) and I got divorced in 2016. During that time, I ended up gaining custody of my stepdaughter. Her and I have always been close. She lived with me until she finished high school, and she currently lives out of state attending a university and studying nursing. She just turned 22 years old, and I have been with her since she was 9. I feel like I have always been in a mothering role my whole life with her. It definitely came to light when I became a stepmom. However, I consider her my daughter even though she is not my daughter by blood. We enjoy traveling, scrapbooking, hiking, and going on new adventures. Last year we went to Puerto Rico, California, New York City, Maine, and Myrtle Beach. This year so far, we have been to Mexico, Disney World, Atlanta and Hawaii. We love planning our new adventures together with traveling and have a bucket list of things to do on each trip. I can’t wait to travel with my child and her and have them enjoy all the adventures and see more of the world with me.

 

Now, to tell you a bit more about myself today. In a nutshell, I am a genuine person with a heart of gold. I have always put others before me, and I always look at life with a positive outlook. I am smart, creative and a “Jill of all Trades”. I enjoy candlepin bowling and I bowl on a league with my mom every Tuesday. I have a large circle of close friends, most who are moms and have families which is great that I have them for guidance. My best friend and I were actually baptized together, we have been best friends our entire life. I am always on the go but find downtime for myself to read a book and curl up with my two cats. I live in a beautiful condo on a marina that truly has breathtaking views of the city. I live in a safe city, and I love my community. The school system here is excellent and there is so much to do. I also enjoy going to concerts, museums, aquariums, the ballet, Broadway shows and musicals. I can’t wait to bring my child and show them all of the arts!

 

I have always had the desire to me a mother to a child of my own, and although my divorce was hard, I still want that opportunity to have my own child. I have an amazing, strong family support and a lot of support from friends. I began following up with my OBGYN to test my fertility so I can try to use a sperm donor. Test results showed that I have premature ovarian failure and very little eggs left. I was advised I was in the last couple of years of my period and IVF was not recommended. Although this was sad to hear, I almost expected this kind of response because of my age. So, it was not a total shock. After doing more research about donor embryos, I felt like this was the perfect match for me. Although the child would not be genetically mine, I am looking forward to this new life to grow inside of me and for me to become a mother. I feel like I have already had that experience of raising a child that was not biologically mine and I did not feel any different.

 

My future goal in life is to give my child the life of love and encouragement that I received as a child. I can give my child the opportunities in life and tell them that nothing is beyond reach. I know this path may not what I have perfect, but I know God will match me with an amazing family in order to fulfill my dream. I know that embryo donation is not an easy decision and I hope that my story puts you an ease knowing that your embryos will be with the best mother and family and live a wonderful life of love and happiness and that you have helped me fill my heart with hope and head with dreams of a future family.

 

Thank you for reading,