Gratitude:

I first would like to express my gratitude for the choice you are making. It is truly the gift of all gifts- the gift of life. For whoever you choose- what a blessing. But even more so- for the little life(s) that will get to be. I do not envy your decision, and I can only imagine how hard it is. I suppose I would rather be in your shoes than my own, but not by much. In fact, part of why I am in my position is because I was trying to avoid being in yours! Surreal how things work out sometimes. But thank you, truly. I personally believe you are doing the right thing and am so very grateful places like Embryo Solution exist to help people who find themselves in these difficult situations.

Fertility Journey/ Reason I’m doing this single

My fertility journey started in 2020. The short story is I’ve had 1 IVF cycle with one egg retrieval (that was frozen for about 2 years before fertilizing), followed by 5 IUI cycles. Now for the deets…

I have a history of long-term relationships that didn’t work out for one reason or another. During my most recent relationship I froze some eggs. It was becoming apparent to me that time was of the essence on having children. I thought by freezing my eggs I was buying myself more time to see if that relationship was what I had hoped, and if not, I would have preserved my ability to have children. We ended up going our separate ways, mostly because he was waffling on if he still wanted children, and I was eager to. After that, I decided to move forward with donor sperm rather than pursuing another relationship. I had always hoped to enter parenthood with a loving, life partner, but I didn’t want to spend any more time on seeing if another relationship would be “the one.” It felt like it was time to prioritize having children. I still hope to find my person one day, and believe I will, I’m just not waiting on that to pursue parenthood anymore.

From there I thawed and fertilized my 7 eggs. I was super excited and began to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to enter pregnancy and parenthood as a single mom. I was also relieved the waiting on someone else was finally over. I had the option to do a second retrieval before fertilizing, but 7 eggs sounded like a lot to me, and I was afraid of ending up with “extra” embryos. (I had no idea places like Embryo Solution existed!) My doctor at the time did a terrible job of explaining things and providing clear information in general. It was my understanding that I was in good shape with 7 eggs. I was so heartbroken when my one resulting embryo (boy) wasn’t healthy enough to transfer. I felt misled. I was frustrated with the doctor for not being more forthright about my odds, and myself for worrying about “having extra” and not opting to do a second egg retrieval. I also wished I hadn’t given my relationship so much time. Many regrets went through my mind, but I didn’t want to give up. I switched doctors and got a second opinion. My new doctor encouraged me to try IUI before another IVF cycle. Since I had never tried to get pregnant before, it seemed worth a shot. I gave it 5 tries using donor sperm. After 5 unsuccessful IUI’s I felt like it was time to go a different route. I started exploring my options again. I looked in to using donor eggs as well as trying IVF again with more egg retrievals. Then I came across embryo adoption, and for the first time in a long time I felt hopeful and excited.

After many prayers and much contemplation, I’ve decided to move forward with embryo adoption. IVF is very costly, and I would need multiple egg retrievals for a decent chance of success. If I went through all that again and it didn’t work out, again, I know I’d be devastated. It’s a risk I just can’t take when there is another option. In my heart I feel I must make the choice that gives me the best chance of getting to be a mom, even if I’m losing the genetic piece. Of course, it is a loss for me to not get to share my genes, as I imagine it is for anyone in my position. But what is more important to me is getting to be a mother and experiencing the connection from the very beginning with pregnancy. That is something embryo adoption gives me. Plus, I like the idea of giving life to a being that may have never gotten to be, had I not been in this situation! I believe all this hardship will make sense someday.

I have always hoped for more than one child, but I am open minded about that. I am checking “2” on my profile in hopes it will work out; I would love to provide my child a sibling. But if one is what I end up with I will be more than thrilled! I am following my heart, taking things one day at a time, and trusting the process in all this!

On Family:

I have two brothers- one older, one younger, both engineers. We are close in age, grew up together and are very close. Both married, both have one son. I love spending time with my nephews- they are growing up too fast! Both brothers and sisters-in-law have been very supportive of me throughout my fertility journey and are hoping I will be able to add to our family. One brother lives 15 min away, the other 2 hours away in a town I used to live in and visit often. I have many cousins with young children who I’m very close to. They live about 5 hours away, but we make it a priority to get together a few times a year to connect while the little ones play together. My parents are older, but healthy and active. They live a few miles away and are very involved. They love babysitting my nephews and hosting holidays and family get togethers. I’m at their house for family dinner on average once a week. They go to the gym once or twice a week and go to dinner with friends regularly. My mom is a retired reading specialist and now plays bridge, is active in book club, and quilts. My dad is a retired small business owner and plays golf, reads, and plays poker with buddies. They’ve been married since they were 19 and still hold hands when out and about. They are my role models on most things, and I feel incredibly blessed to have them as parents!

*Family photo with all immediate fam together is 7-8 years old, we need to take a new one! A few pics are older; the majority are recent.

On Friends:

I have about 6 long-term friends that I connect with throughout the year and am very close to. Most have children of their own, a few do not. My friends have been reliable, significant supports for me over the years and I consider them family. My dearest friend lives two hours away and we visit each other often, go on trips together, and have regular lengthy face time calls. She’s been my rock through many things, including this ongoing fertility journey!

On Religion and Politics:

I was raised and confirmed Lutheran. Most of my family is Lutheran. Some go to church regularly, others not so much. I tend to go on the random occasion with a family member, or sometimes I visit different types of churches on my own when I feel moved to. Or occasionally I watch on TV. But mostly I pray alone, which happens daily. I would say I’m more spiritual than religious, although I do still feel connected to my Lutheran upbringing. I also enjoy learning about different beliefs and cultures. I would likely raise a child introducing them to Lutheranism or Christianity beliefs initially, then as they grow help them make their own way and decisions about how they want to connect with their spirituality. With politics, I’m a registered independent and try my best to remain neutral, although at times I do lean one way or the other. I have voted both democratic and republican over the years. I have family members with strong beliefs on both sides; I listen to and respect their opinions but try not to get too involved or worked up about it. Luckily, we all still get along!

On Health/Fitness:

I grew up playing competitive softball (10 years) and was also on the swimming team (only 1 year in high school, but it left an impression on me.) In my younger youth I took gymnastics and loved it. I think it’s important to have an athletic outlet and would encourage this with any child(children) I get to parent. I enjoy mild exercise a few times a week. It’s a great stress reliever and so beneficial for my mental and physical health. I don’t think I would have this outlook had I not been encouraged to be active while growing up. I’ve always been a healthy eater; I naturally enjoy fruits and veggies. Over the past couple years, I’ve paid more attention to dodging preservatives and chemicals in food, and I eat organic when I can but am not strict about it. My usual indulgences are chocolate and ice cream.

On Pets:

I LOVE all animals. I pull over to move turtles out of the road and take spiders outside rather than killing them. Pets have always played a big role in my life and are such great companions; they’ve gotten me through some difficult times, and I treasure their unconditional love. I grew up with dogs, but over the past few years fell in love with cats also. I currently have two cats and a dog. I will likely always have one or the other, or both! (I have a litter robot and keep the house clean!) I’ve had boxers in the past and will likely have one again someday, but I took in a Great Pyrenees a year and a half ago and she is really a great dog- so smart and so sweet. My pet polar bear I call her lol.

Hobbies/Interests:

Painting, art activities in general, spending time outdoors, travel, and time with my friends/family. In my spare time at home, I’m usually relaxing with my pets while reading, listening to music, sitting out back enjoying the sunset, exercising, cooking, or watching TV. My undergrad was in painting and ceramics and so I still enjoy them both from time to time. When I was in high school a Swiss exchange student lived with our family, then after graduating high school I was lucky enough to get to go live with her family for a year in Switzerland (before college.) I got to travel quite a bit during that time and made a few dear friends I stay in touch with today; we have visited each other a few times over the years. Travel was a big part of my upbringing (family vacay’s around the States) so that is an interest I would like to pass on. I think it’s important to see different ways of life.

Other tidbits about me:

I’m a natural optimist and a creative person. I’m a hard worker, honest, kind, patient, and really appreciate a good sense of humor. I’m a Virgo, Enneagram #9, and INFP- if any of that stuff is of interest. I’m not sure how much weight it bears, but it’s interesting sometimes. After college I completed grad school in another state then a few years later moved back to my home state. I work in the social services field. I’ve worked with many different populations over the years including children, teens, people with mental and physical disabilities, older adults, etc. I enjoy helping people. I live in the suburbs of a decent sized city; I’m on the outskirts so close to the countryside as well. I own my own home. It’s a new build and I’m the original owner so I got to make the decisions throughout the building process. It’s a smaller 3 bed 2 bath, but affordable and perfect for me really. I got very lucky with the lot because it backs up to farmland and a pond. There are often cows or horses in sight and I love watching the birds and Canada geese that have made it their home. It’s a beautiful view, and every time I watch an amazing sunset, I think of how wonderful it will be to get to share these moments with my child! I can just see us laughing and playing out back, watching the fireflies, and pointing at the stars.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and considering me as a potential match for your precious embryos! I tried to cover all the bases without getting -too- lengthy, but if there is something else you’d like to know, please reach out to Embryo Solution and pass the questions my way!